The baby is growing, and by the age of 12 months, parents begin to notice some previously unusual behavioral flaws. He becomes more capricious, even nervous, tears appear more often, does not want to sleep and eat at the right time, and it is very difficult for mother to quietly get away from a child on business, as it was just recently. This behavior is characteristic of the crisis of the first year of a child’s life, which can begin from about 9 months and last for about six months.
How to recognize the personality crisis in a child of the first year of life?
A difficult transitional state on the path of life will not be one. Behavioral adjustment occurs immediately after birth, when it adapts to the world around it. The next comes to the first birthday, then you need to be careful on the 3rd birthday and at 6 years old. In adolescents, this period is noted at the age of 12-13.
One-year-old baby shows disobedience, naughty, crying, his psychology is changing. Parents cannot realize in time that their child is no longer a baby, he has grown up, has become more independent, inquisitive - hence all the whims. You just need to realize the transition to the new stage of development and treat this accordingly, but how to distinguish the crisis of 1 year from simple stubbornness?
- Unwillingness to obey, traces of stubbornness. The kid absolutely realizes himself to be adults and refuses to fulfill the requirements of his parents: there are signs of a crisis of the first year.
- Mood makes changes several times a day. A crumb can even show aggression in case of dissatisfaction, and often in this period it is unhappy.
- Unexplained behavior. Hugs and kisses, and then suddenly can hit. Without a favorite toy, she cries and refuses to fall asleep, and after a moment she throws her to the floor.
- Unnoticed earlier touchiness. You can hurt a kid with even a word - he will cry, be offended, and for that, no one can determine.
- Mom should always be there. This child’s installation creates in him the fear of losing a loved one - the baby, as if sewn, follows mom.
- Increased demand for attention to yourself. When distracting mom or dad to another object, there are signs of jealousy.
Causes of child's crisis behavior
With each passing day, the one year old baby is becoming more and more accustomed to the surrounding space. He begins to pick up new things for him, feel them, compare with others. The development takes place in huge steps both physically and intellectually, everything new is learned through the new ability to walk.
Scarce, in his opinion, reached perfection and became an adult. He walks the same way as adults, and therefore, should be the same independent. He has already become big and does not have to follow the advice of others. This marked the important cause of the crisis of the first year of a child’s life - the first anniversary is considered difficult to bring up, it must be lived properly.
The karapuz wants to walk on his own, without any help, and my mother firmly grasped her hand and did not let go. At lunch, mother continues to feed, as before, with a spoon, and the crumb requires independence. From here - misunderstanding of each other.
Adults are unaware that the child has grown, and they continue to treat him like a baby. When seeing aggression or resistance on his part, parents begin to demand submission, sometimes with the help of raising their voices or even strength. This behavior of parents is wrong.
What do adults do in a crisis of the first year? Grow with your baby: take into account his needs, see his personality in him, give him more freedom. Do not be afraid of age-related changes in the child. This is an evolutionary step taken by everyone. The neoplasm, which was acquired by the toddler during this period, makes others happy and surprisingly for the smallest person - this is the ability to speak. Pleasant neoplasm: speech, at first incomprehensible to everyone except parents, then sounds clearer and clearer. How quickly a baby learns to speak depends on adults. However, it is not necessary to repeat the words invented by him; it is better to immediately teach him to speak correctly.
Councils of child psychologists and pediatricians
Experts have developed methods that will help to survive the crisis of 1 year, to level its negative impact on the relationship of the child with parents. You can not indulge all the whims. It is impossible not to respond to shouts and aggression, but the impact on the baby with the help of force is also unacceptable. Komarovsky, a famous pediatrician, describes in detail the main tips in his lectures:
- Disallow selectively. Wrong everything indiscriminately allow or prohibit. The child should know the rules adopted in the family or society, but there should not be many prohibitions. If something can be resolved without major problems, then it is better to do it.
- Do not ruin the occurrence of the initiative in the baby. If he seeks to do something himself, do not prohibit.
- Do not feed by force. Experienced mothers know that the baby, when hungry, he will say about it.
- Listen to the urgent requests, the wishes of the toddler, because mother is not difficult to do on an intuitive level.
- It is better to be friends with your child than to play the role of educator. Joint game, watching children's films brings together and unites.
- Talk with your child about everything that interests him. This will develop sociability, correctly put the speech, will relieve from the children's pronunciation of words.
- Feel free to ask for help. The kid will gladly help, especially when his mother praises him.
- Baby cries and does not want to stop? Try leaving it alone for a while in the room. Perhaps he will quickly switch to a game or something else. Crying alone will not be interesting.
What actions can not be done?
To exclude errors in this difficult period for education, psychologists advise to pay special attention to those actions of adults that are unacceptable:
- Do not show your power, strength and do not crush parental authority. It is always better to be a friend.
- Do not deprive the kid's desire to be independent. This can lead to infantilism in adulthood.
- Keep a healthy balance between prohibitions and permissiveness. Your decisions must be reasonable.
- Adults should follow a single parenting system. We must not allow the child, hearing the ban from mom, to go with the same request to her grandmother, knowing that she will receive permission.
- Try to balance the time devoted to the baby, and the hours of life that are needed to solve adult problems. You can not always live only a child. And he should not demand this from his parents. However, devote enough attention to him.
- Watch your speech and behavior in the presence of the crumbs. A distinctive feature of this age is the imitation of adults, absorption of speech, character traits, and behavior.
- Do not break on the cry, and even more so, do not allow yourself to hit the child, despite the crisis of one year.
- Do not indulge in childish whims. Do not promise attractive trips, do not buy peace with sweets. Do not take on your hands when tears appear.
Do not be afraid
As always, after the storm comes calm. After the crisis period, there will surely come a time of tranquility, awareness of the place in the adult world. He will continue to develop, grow, learn the unknown, gain communication skills. Negative features of the transition period can spill over into the character of the child only in the case of incorrect behavior of the parents at this time: pressure, manifestation of power.
Be a friend to your child at all times, try to overcome any problems with joint efforts. This is a sure way to cultivate a harmoniously developed personality and lay solid foundations of mutual trust in the family, it is easier to survive the consequences of the 1 year crisis.
Psychology and concept
Crisis age - what is it?
The crisis of childhood is called transition period between age stages.
This happens at the completion of certain stages of development. This phenomenon occurs due to physiological and psychological alterations.
How a crisis manifests itself depends on the child’s temperament, character, and social relations. If in one case its manifestation is strong, the baby became nervousthen in the other you can hardly notice it.
Psychologists say that during such periods even the most calm children become very nervous, irritable and even aggressive. They react emotionally to familiar words and phrases, trying to prove their case.
Young children while crying, stomping their feet, throwing toys and lying down on the floor in hysterics. Older children usually argue with their parents, provoke a conflict, do not try to find a compromise.
According to experts, such phenomena not escape. They are important for the development of the child, the formation of his psyche and social relations.
The duration of crises usually does not exceed several months, but under the influence of negative factors, certain circumstances increase the duration.
First year of life
A 1 year crisis is characterized by several features that a parent must know. Consider the table:
Children at this age become very touchy, they get very upset if their mother screams at them and scolds for something. You need to be affectionate, hug the baby during hysterics, because physical contact is important to him: he feels the warmth of the mother and calms down.
If the child has become independent, do not prohibit it.
for example: he wants to eat himself with a spoon, takes it in his hand, we must allow him to try to eat on his own. This will have a beneficial effect on its development.
In addition, it is necessary be a friend to him: play together, watch cartoons. Joint pastime and attention of parents will give the child a sense of security. He will understand that he is loved and appreciated, then the crisis will be overcome more easily and quickly.
One and a half years
Recognizing this period at this age is easy. The following appear the signs:
- Unexplained behavior. Children can first hug a loved one, and then hit him, or suddenly throw his favorite toy on the floor.
Such actions are explained by the restructuring of the nervous system, maturation.
The reason for such action is child's intellectual development. He has a strong desire to know the world, to touch the things around him, but at the same time there is a childish moodiness and a desire to attract the attention of parents to himself, as if showing what he has learned, what he has found.
During this period, you can not show negative emotions and shout at children. Letting them be more independent.
Mom should watch from the side of the actions of the babybut not control every step. He will be glad if they take him as an equal, they will play with him.
In two years
In two years, the child is even more pronounced his independence.
Short words and phrases appear that the baby uses to express. independence.
Most children at this age say: "I do not want," "I will not," "no," "I myself." They try to do everything on their own, help their parents and believe that they know everything better than adults.
Moods appear when they something is forbidden to do. Then there is a cry, the child knocks his feet on the floor, so that he is allowed to carry out his plans.
He especially likes to answer no to all the questions of his elders. This becomes a new toy, so these answers can not be taken seriously.
Only need have patience and do not scold the child, trying to explain that this is not always the appropriate answer.
The reasons for this behavior are first manifestations of personality traits. The child gradually begins to realize itself, certain preferences are formed, the model of behavior is laid.
Psychologists recommend to find common grounds with children trying to behave in a friendly way. Interdictions should be explained, pronounced calmly, since severity is perceived as an order.
At three years old child becomes more independent: trying to prove to adults that is equal to them, can do a lot of things himself.
The main signs of a three-year crisis are:
- Negativism. Children cease to obey their parents, refuse to every request: they do not want to go home, although they are already tired of walking, refuse to eat, although they have been hungry for a long time. They just do not want to agree on anything with their relatives.
- Obstinacy. He stops listening to someone, pretends that they are not turning to him, can run away for a walk, and suddenly make a mess in the room, scattering toys.
- Despotism. The kid goes to great lengths, so that everyone in the family obeys only him: she can pick up her sister's toys, knock someone out of her parents if they do not allow her to do what she wants. It seems to him that he is in charge and everyone should obey him.
- Willfulness. Three-year-olds do everything to look like adults: they try to turn on electrical appliances themselves, cross the road without holding mom's hand. At the most unexpected moment, they can run away, while on a walk they try not to notice the presence of adults.
During this period it is important to explain what cannot be done, what actions are strictly prohibited. We must speak strictly and warn about punishments.
The crisis of this age radically different from what was in the past.
The child no longer throws tantrums, will not begin to cry in a public place and knock legs.
The restructuring of the body is manifested differently:
- Dramatic change in behavior. It changes dramatically: instead of stories of all secrets, secrecy appears, instead of obedience, rudeness arises.
- Fear formation. It is at this age that fears begin to appear. Someone confesses that he is afraid of insects, and someone of the dark.
- No interest in the game. What liked before, now does not cause interest. Favorite doll or car can lie on the shelves of the cabinet, the child will not fit them.
Kids start to be rude adults become unbearable to communicate.
But even in this case, it is not necessary to be rude and shouting; you should punish them, speak as seriously and strictly as possible so that they understand that you have to answer for misdeeds.
Appears when the child realizes that he will soon go to school and he there will be new responsibilities, friends, you will need to make many decisions yourself.
He understands that he is growing up, but he is not yet used to new duties.
Adulthood borders on childishness which affects the behavior of a negative: a child can be capricious, becomes restless, mimics adults.
There are possible outbursts of anger, irritability, absent-mindedness, which affects school performance badly: the child gets low marks, is afraid to tell parents about them, becomes secretive.
During this period, the child loses naivety and gullibility. He becomes more mature, there are actions and phrases that are characteristic of an adult.
It seems to him that he may be mistaken in important matters, self-love and self-confidence are lost, and discontent with his own image may appear. The kid may refuse to wear this or that clothes, he is going to school longer, he chooses what to wear for a long time.
May appear criticism to yourself and even teachers.
This is expressed by dissatisfaction with communication, frequent conflicts.
Inappropriate behavior with flashes of anger and the tendency to fight grows.
It is very important for the close ones to immediately solve such problems, talk more with the child and explain to him that he will be punished. Good behavior, on the contrary, should be encouraged.
Opinion of Dr. Komarovsky
Dr. Komarovsky says that the child should be given the opportunity to be independent, one should not infringe upon his rights, freedom and control every step.
Important to be near, but as a mentor or friend, not an enemy or a despot. They do not scold him for his misdeeds, but talk to him strictly, making it clear what exactly was done wrong, how to behave correctly.
You can not impose your opinion, especially if there is a question of choosing clothes, toys.
It should be with him as often as possible to consult, so that he could Express your opinion.
It is necessary to establish contact with the child, to become friends, so that he can trust loved ones.
In children, there are crises that manifest themselves at each age differently. Having studied their signs, listening to the advice of psychologists, to overcome these periods will become much easier.
Crises of childhood. Psychologist tips:
1 year crisis - what is it?
Parents are looking forward to when their baby will become independent. Ведь столько времени приходится его носить, одевать, кормить.It seems that now begin to walk, it will become easier.
And the child turns one year old. He already knows how to do a lot himself: he walks, plays, eats and more. But there are new problems. And it turns out that the parents are not so ready for the independence of the crumbs.
So closer to 12 months, the child begins to actively move independently. He has the opportunity to independently explore the many objects around him that were previously inaccessible to him. These are kitchen tables and stove, shoe shelves and wardrobes, and much more. Everything he can reach, he needs to touch, study, try.
Such crises have yet to face more than once a child grows up. Developmental psychology identifies the following stages of child development: infancy, early age, childhood (preschool age).
Therefore, parents are encouraged to be patient and learn more about possible solutions to the problem.
Not always the crisis of 1 year in a child begins at the same time.
Some may be earlier as early as 10 months, and in others 2-3 months after the year. However, age psychology is sure that a crisis cannot be avoided.
The beginning of this state can be determined by the following features:
- The child takes all the comments very negatively.especially bans.
- Baby behavior is inconsistent
He asks for one thing, then another, and immediately throws.
- Baby capriciouscrying, screaming, stomping.
- The kid refuses to perform sequential actions.previously treated calmly
For example, she does not want to dress, bathe, sit on the pot.
- Often disturbed sleep sleep
- The child is trying to do everything yourself, even if it fails.
- Sometimes the situation is the opposite the child doesn't want to do anything himself
Even if he knew how.
- The baby needs more attention.to look at him, played with him and so on.
- Many one-year-old children develop fear of losing their mother.
They demand that she be there all the time, do not let go anywhere for a minute.
Each child has its own characteristics and manifestations of the crisis may differ both in signs and in the degree of their manifestation. Therefore, each parent, knowing the nature of his child, will be able to see changes in his behavior.
Usually at 1 year old, a child acquires a very important skill - learning to walk, but with some people the development of this ability is delayed. Read what time the child begins to walk independently in our next material.
The age psychology of children of the first years of life determines the following causes of a 1 year crisis:
- The increase in motor and cognitive activity of the child,
- Extra bans on the research activity of the child by the parents,
- The inability of the child to dialogue with adults (no speech),
- The parents do not understand the age characteristics of the child.
Thus, the grown-up child is activated and begins to act independently. Parents are not ready to ensure that their child, whom they used to take care of and protect from all dangerous things, learns from their mistakes. They begin to forbid him everything. This causes negative emotions in the crumbs. He tries to convey to adults his vision of the situation, but he cannot do it. He has no speech yet, but his parents do not understand his desires.
What does the baby feel?
At this age, the child becomes more independent. If before that they were governed - they dressed, fed, wore, when their parents wanted, now he tries to manage not only his activities, but also his parents.
The kid begins to walk and stretches to everything that is in his field of vision. He is interested in the process of knowledge. He tries not only to touch everything, to beat, to disassemble, but also to taste. Parents are beginning to say more and more “no” The baby does not understand why one is possible and the other is not.
For example, if parents forbid to touch the wires or collect cigarette butts on the street, then the crumb thinks that they do not understand him and do not like him. After all, adults themselves perform many actions that are prohibited to him. He begins to protest, showing his character.
Since one-year-old kids begin to copy the behavior of parents, it will be useful if adults calmly show how to perform this or that action correctly. Let him still badly.
You do not need to correct him all the time, because he is just learning. HFor a child to grow up as an independent and responsible person, able to make decisions at the right time and be responsible for them, it is necessary to educate him accordingly from childhood - to give more independence, the opportunity to learn from his mistakes.
How long does this crisis last? Many parents ask this question. But there is no definite answer to it. The duration of a crisis is influenced by many factors: the characteristics of the child, the method of educating adults, how much they listen to their needs. therefore someone does not notice the crisis of the first year at all, for someone it lasts for several weeks, and for someone even for several months.
Is it worth being afraid of?
Parents should not be afraid in advance. The main thing to understand is that the crisis of 1 year of life is a completely natural phenomenon, which is provided for by the age psychology of the child. If someone has a crisis more acutely, and someone did not notice any signs at all, then this does not mean that the first option is worse. Indeed, for the psychological formation of the personality, these transitional stages (crises) are important. Therefore, the possible problems rather need to think of those who do not change the behavior of the child with age.
How to behave correctly? Psychologist tips
Finding an approach to a child whose crisis is 1 year old is not possible for all parents. Many simply begin to strictly suppress the disobedience of the child, often cursing him and even punishing him. This is unlikely to be beneficial. Rather, only harm the immature psyche of the child. He is not able to make causal conclusions and punishment for anything will not work. The kid simply decides that his parents do not love him.
Some adults on the contrary go on about the whims of the child, in all they indulge. Such permissiveness is harmful for the formation of the personality of the baby. It becomes even more capricious, the crisis is aggravated.
Surviving this difficult period, without going to extremes, can help such recommendations of psychologists:
- Try to limit the number of prohibitions.
Say “no” as rarely as possible, only in cases where the baby’s actions become dangerous to his life. In this case, it is necessary not just to say, but also to explain why. For example, you can not run out on the carriageway, the car can crush. Do not limit as much as possible the physical activity of the crumbs, allow him to crawl, run, make noise. It just needs a baby. He wants to draw not on a sheet of paper, but on himself - let him draw. So he knows the world.
- In order to have fewer bans, it is better to hide away in advance what you cannot touch.
- If the child wants to do something on his own, give him that opportunity.
At the same time, he does not need to constantly try to help or rush, because he is still just learning.
- The kid refuses to eat - do not force him to eat
He certainly will not be hungry. You can not feed the child by force. Let him eat as much as he needs. If the crumb does not want to eat some kind of dish, he does not like the taste, do not insist. Everyone has their own food preferences and the baby is as individual as everyone.
- Learn to understand your baby
He can not yet express his feelings in words, so be careful about his urges.
- Try to give your child more time to play with him.
Games will help to take the child, get closer to him, learn to understand him better. Any unsolvable situation can be solved in the game. For example, the baby does not want to wear some thing. Play with him from the store. Spread out similar clothes and let him “buy” himself what he liked. The favorite soft toy or doll will also help. Let her eat with baby, dress and go for a walk.
- Instead of forbidding the child something, try to shift his attention to what is possible and interesting for the child.
All that can not be taken, it is better to keep out of sight of the baby.
- If a child has a tantrum and cannot be calmed or distracted, let him cry for a while.
No need to pay attention to him. He will understand that hysteria will not help and calm down.
- Kids love at the age of 1 - 1.5 years to imitate adults
Let him help you in household chores. For example, mum cleans up and the crumb wants to help - give him a rag, let him wash with mom. Be sure to praise him and thank him for his help.
You must follow the usual mode of the day, but make it more flexible. For example, so that the baby gets hungry and eats well, take a long walk, let him play and run, but don't give him something to eat. Then, having returned home, the baby will eat and sleep well during the day.
What not to do
To overcome the crisis will take a lot of patience and love from adults. This is not easy, but the behavior of parents at this stage will determine what kind of personality their baby will become in the future.
Therefore, there are a number of measures that are categorically not recommended for use when raising a baby:
- You can not shout at the child, call him, humiliate
Very often, parents are angry and start screaming at the child. This is the most affordable method of influencing a child, but the most ineffective. Anger does not help to solve the problem, but only aggravates it. The child is experiencing misunderstanding, fear, rejection. He does not realize why he is being scolded, but only closes in on himself, does not feel the support of parents, their love.
- Physical abuse
- Take away from the child the object that he took to play, even if it is prohibited
Try to change it to something else that will interest the crumbs. In the future, keep prohibited items out of sight of the child.
- Indulge all the whims of a child
- There should be few bans, but they should be strictly defined. They can not be broken. This is a moment of education, it can not be canceled. To encourage a child for good deeds, to distract from what is impossible, not to scold, but to explain.
- Do not leave the child upset after a quarrel
He should not think that his mother left him because he is bad.
What to do if the child does not let mom go anywhere
There are situations when a child does not for a minute let go of his mother. He walks behind her like he is tied and starts crying if he has gone out somewhere. At an early age, children are very attached to their mother. They need confidence that mom will always be there, not going anywhere. To make the child more easily tolerate separation from the mother, psychologists advise the following:
- While being with the child, try not just to be near physically, but also to pay your attention to it.
For example, many mothers love to "sit" on the Internet, and the child is played nearby. It would seem that the mother is with the child, sees him, but the baby feels that he is not with him.
- Spend time with him rich, play, talk, talk about everything, and most importantly, that you will always be there.
- Do not frighten the baby that you will leave and leave him alone or give him away when he behaves badly
It hurts the psyche of the child. Makes him vulnerable. The baby should feel that in any situation his mother is with him and loves him.
- Do not leave secretly, leaving the baby for a short time with someone
Be sure to tell him where you are going and why, even if it seems that he does not understand.
- Do not go on about the child if he starts to scream
If the mother comes back when the baby is crying and crying, he will quickly understand it and will manipulate his mother.
- Play hide and seek with your baby
So he will get used to the fact that the mother disappears for a while and appears again and will be less afraid of her disappearance.
It is necessary to show a little love and patience, because the baby is growing rapidly and changing. Soon he will be able to do without his mother, but it is important that he was always confident in her love and care. This will help him grow a more confident person.
The crisis of the first year. Signs of
- Baby stops obeying parents. He can become very demanding and aggressive with them. And he begins to avoid strangers.
- The child is filled with a sense of confidence that he can do everything himself, even if he lacks the skills.
- The child often changes mood. The baby does not like anything, it is very difficult to please him.
- The inconsistency in actions is clearly manifested. He hugs, and then immediately bites, stings, beats. It is asking for something, and receiving it throws it out!
- The child reacts painfully to his comments. He becomes very vulnerable and touchy.
- Quite often naughty without a reason. And she does not know what she wants.
- Again, as in early infancy, afraid to lose sight of mom. And walks, clinging to her.
What makes a baby in a completely unrecognizable little man? What are the causes of the crisis and what to do with all this?
Causes of consciousness upheaval in children of the first year of life
The kid has learned to get up and walk on his own, he begins to feel free and independent from adults, and wants them to admit it. He can do something that until recently was not available to him. The child is very actively beginning to learn and learn from their own experience the world around them. And all the restraints in the field of knowledge and doubts about his independence cause his protest.
I do not want to eat porridge! I want a banana!
Parents need to realize that their baby has moved to a new level of development, and not to behave with him as if he was just born, not allowing him any independent actions.
Everything changes for him in the world around him - his relationship with his parents, towards himself, his objective activity. And this crisis of 1 year of life is experienced by him hard, such is the psychology of this period. After all, so many things he has to realize now!
I want something! Buy it! Why not?
Parental "no" often provokes the emergence of conflicts, because the baby does not understand the reasons for the ban. It is difficult for him to understand this question. He feels unloved because mom or dad forbids him to plug into the outlet at home, or to eat earth on the street. And he does not know how to speak, which also causes extreme experiences, because he remains, despite all his efforts to convey his thoughts to those who are not understood.
How can psychology help with all this?
The crisis of 1 year of life of the baby - what to do to easily survive this crucial period? You can smooth out the acute manifestations, if you treat everything correctly. First, it must be understood that these changes are inevitable, and this period is a completely natural process, which sooner or later will come to an end. Secondly, it is necessary to understand that the contribution that parents will make to the upbringing of their child now will be carried through his entire life.
Therefore, you need to stock up on boundless patience, boundless love and begin to follow the advice given by age psychology. Then the crisis of the first year of the child’s life will pass completely unnoticed.
Kids of the 1st year are already trying to break the ban
- Bans. Let them not be very much. And it will not be possible only:
- what concerns the threat to the life and health of the baby,
- things of family members that are related to work and school, documents,
- just dear to the heart of objects.
Prohibited items and things better to remove from the visibility and reach of the baby.
- You can not stop the independence of your child, otherwise, later he can not do anything and decide for himself.
- No need to force the child to eat, if he refuses to do it. He will eat when he gets hungry.
- Of course, it would be good to learn to understand the baby. At least on an intuitive level. Probably, many moms can do it. Try to hear it. If you often play together with a crumb, then there will be no time for whims.
- Communication This is a very important point. We must talk about everything that is happening, and even ask his opinion about something. Let him not answer. Anyway it is necessary. He will feel like a very important link in his family. And it develops a great speech.
Communication is the best way to stop the crisis.
Older children are great distract and teach the baby
The main task of adults is to turn all this irrepressible energy in the right direction, and best of all in the game.
For example, in the kitchen there is just a huge field for the activities and games of the beloved child. Instead of examining a hot plate and a refrigerator, a crumb can take apart and fold a basket of onions, garlic and other vegetables. Pots, pans, lids of cans, spoons and shatterproof plates are just treasures for a kid and he can do whatever he wants with them. And you can also let him feed his toys with something.
Обучение первым навыкам
Вместе со своим крохой можно загружать и выгружать стиральную машину. Ему это очень понравится. А если разрешить ему нажать на нужную кнопочку, радости не будет предела.
At this age, the kid wants to say a lot, but it does not work. In order for a child to be able to name an object, he must memorize it, not in the abstract, but in practice. Role-playing plot games give a huge positive result. Be sure to play with the child!
During this period of manifestation of independence, it is necessary to teach your toddler some skills. For example, wash your hands, hold the pen and spoon correctly and others.
In this very difficult, but at the same time interesting stage of life, one must not forget what unconditional love is. No nerves, screams and curses!
DO NOT scream at the child! Find another way to explain to him how to
Before you start your tantrum, you need to take a deep breath and think about whether the child, who is perhaps a little over a year old, will understand everything correctly. Negative side! Crisis - it will pass! And everything that happens should cause a smile and pride for the baby, at least for the fact that he is developing so quickly and well. A relaxation after a busy day can be obtained in another way, it is not at all necessary to fall for a child.
You need to be a friend to your baby, he should know that at any moment he can rely on his parents. And this feeling of being loved just like that, always understood and supported, will greatly help him throughout his life.
What is a 1 year crisis?
The length of time when the behavior and habits of the baby change is an integral part of the child’s growing up. And they are called age or personality crises. Throughout life, such crises are repeated regularly. In childhood, it occurs in the first weeks after birth, at 1 year, at three, at six, and at 12-14 years.
Sooner or later, the child has new needs, and what was used to meet them earlier ceases to be relevant. This is the crux of the problem.
It is at the age of 1 year (plus or minus 1-2 months) the baby takes the first steps, begins to actively explore the world around it. But his aspirations and impulses are most often limited to the parental categorical “no!”. From this and tears, and whims, and stubbornness.
Remember the root cause of the world revolution: "The lower classes can not, and do not want the top"? Here is about the same situation. Moms and dads need to realize that their baby has grown, become more independent, sociable and mobile, and begin to treat the crumbs differently. But how to understand that the crisis in one year old toddler has already come?
- Disobedience, stubbornness.
The kid is sure that everything can always do independently. And when he is re-negotiated and forbidden, he categorically refuses to obey.
- Frequent mood swings.
Karapuz expresses dissatisfaction with almost everything and everyone. The reaction to certain situations changes radically, aggression appears.
- Contradictory nature of behavior.
It is expressed in the fact that at first the crumb embraces, and then hits someone, or first asks for a toy, and then throws it away.
- Vulnerability, touchiness.
The child often cries, is capricious. It is often difficult to calm him down, because the cause of his tears is almost impossible to find.
- Fear of losing mom from sight.
This year old toddler is often called the "mother's tail."
- The child constantly needs attention.
It is important for him to be watched and played in his games. The kid is starting to be jealous.
And now let's take a closer look at the basis for this behavior. The peculiarity of the first year of life of any child is that it develops comprehensively - both mentally and physically. He is actively exploring the world around. In 10-12 months, he can already take and hold in his hands things that were previously inaccessible to him. It takes its first steps.
Therefore, the baby believes that he is an adult, independent, and can completely do without the intervention of adults, and any prohibitions cause only indignation in him. What can be called the first cause of the crisis of 1 year.
This is manifested when the crumb persistently tries to eat independently, and parents do not support him in good endeavors. Or when he wants to walk without help, and mom does not let go of his hand.
Adults continue to behave with an older child, just as before. And when confronted with resistance and aggression, they often behave completely wrong: they are angry, shout, and sometimes they use force. Here you have the second cause of the crisis.
Hence the conclusion that a child is naughty at 1 year old because he has grown up, his needs and abilities have changed, and parents also need to restructure themselves and start treating the baby differently, giving him more freedom and respecting his personality.
How to cope: the advice of psychologists
Some parents put up with the fact that their children become moody and continue to indulge them, even as they get older. The rest, on the contrary, refuse to accept the current circumstances and apply not very popular measures to children. Nevertheless, there are methods, from the point of view of psychologists, that are correct and not so complicated, with the help of which you can negotiate with the protesting kid.
What are these methods?
- To the maximum, drop unnecessary bans. Let them be not so much. In order not to forbid the child to take this or that thing each time, simply move these things to an inaccessible place.
- If a pussy takes the initiative and tries to do something on its own, do not stop it.
- If the baby does not want to eat - do not force him, just offer. When he gets hungry, be sure to eat.
- Learn to understand your toddler and be attentive to his requests and desires. Though he doesn’t know how to express his thoughts yet, mom probably will feel them intuitively.
- Parents should be the best friends of their offspring, not strict teachers, so spend more time with the baby - crawl with him, play the toys that he offers.
- Constantly communicate with the baby. After all, this is important not only as a manifestation of attention, but also as an aspect of the development of speech. Talk to him about everything in the world - tell about what you are doing now, what you plan to do, ask his opinion.
- Engage your child in daily activities. Be sure that he will be interested. And even more so if he hears praise in his address, he will definitely help you the next time. Ask him for help.
- If a baby cries without ceasing, and it is impossible to calm him down with all sorts of persuasion, leave him alone, but not for long. When he realizes that his parents do not pay attention to the manifestations of his character at all, he will immediately switch to another occupation.
Should I be afraid?
Do not be afraid of the crisis of 1 year - it is natural. The fact that it is acute, should not alarm the parents.
Its vivid manifestation indicates that the child is formed as a personality correctly. And the external absence of manifestations, which creates the illusion of harmonious development, on the contrary, indicates that the psyche has not received a proper development. Remember that misunderstanding is much more dangerous than the crisis period itself.
Video "Naughty Children" - Komarovsky
All manifestations of the crisis of the first year will pass very quickly if you can start treating your child who is going through such a difficult period with respect and understanding. After that, be sure, there will be a time of stability, when the baby will actively continue to develop and delight parents with new successes. Negative traits can gain a foothold only when the parents put pressure on the crumbs and show their strength. Only with close cooperation with the child you will not only overcome the crisis period in a short time, but also lay a solid foundation for mutual trust and harmonious development of your beloved child in the future.
Why do they do it
The main problem of the crisis of the first year of life is that parents often do not have time to restructure themselves after the rapid development of their child. Just yesterday, he lay quietly in his crib and was content with the rattles hanging over her, and today he has aroused interest in her mother’s cosmetics, grandmother’s medicine and father’s screwdriver. And the trouble on the street - a clean child, who was so hard trained to be accurate, climbs into a puddle, buries his nose in the sand. At breakfast, the awkward little tot tries to act independently with a spoon, smears with porridge and cries desperately when mom tries to take the feeding into her own hands. The first reaction of adults is to stop this disgrace. However, the vagaries and bad behavior (tears, shouts, scandals), the desire to grab everything and show inappropriate independence for the time being are not signs of bad character and spoiledness that must be fought. These are the natural manifestations of the maturation stage. In fact, behind each of them is something very clear, understandable and important for the baby. Let's try to stop and think about what the child himself is feeling now? Why does he do this? And if the key to understanding childish passion for playing with dirt or things from the world of adults is easy to find (just remembering yourself at that age), then you have to break your head over other children's puzzles. Mom shows the year old Petya how to build a house of cubes, she herself involuntarily takes a great interest, and here the son with a sly little smile destroys the architectural structure, which she is very happy about. Mom hurt. It seems to her that Petya is simply a hooligan. However, the child, firstly, does not yet understand that it is necessary to respect the work of others, and it is a bit early to demand this from him. Secondly, he destroys his mother’s castle not from harm, but because it is interesting for him to watch the colored cubes fly to the sides. Time will pass, and he himself will gladly build, not destroy. In the meantime, it is much more important and more pleasant to him: to observe the trajectory of falling cubes. And the desire of the children to touch and get everything has a scientific substantiation: it turns out that in this way the child does not just have fun, but develops sensorimotor activity and search activity.
How to behave with a child whose crisis is the first year of life?
All this, of course, does not mean that a child experiencing a crisis in the first year of life should be allowed everything. Certain prohibitions are of course necessary, but they must be a bit so that the baby can memorize and assimilate the prohibitions, and not the fact that evil adults forbid him everything. It is desirable to formulate the rules briefly and clearly, and without a smile, so that the crumb will realize: they do not offer him to play the game “deceive my mother”, but they speak seriously. Another important point: it is desirable to repeat the rules every time when the situation arises in them. And in order to do without tediousness, you can add a rhyme from each rule, for example, “If we go for a walk with you, you need to wear a hat”. “Well, that’s necessary,” the young brawler thinks to himself and ... submits. Most adult prohibitions usually concern the safety of the child. But here you can be creative. So, if a little researcher is trying to do something forbidden, try to immediately turn his attention. For example, you can take away the multi-colored pills from him (and where did he just get them?), And in return offer the same bright, but inedible and large buttons. An adult book with thin pages, which can easily be broken off by a crumb, can be replaced by a folding book for kids, where the pages are made of cardboard. "Disgrace" in the bathroom to reduce to a civilized game with water in a toy basin. Say, children of one and a half years and older play fishing with great pleasure. The stores today sell kits for this game, in which the floating fish and fishing rod are equipped with tiny magnets.
When will not be good?
Another task: you need not distract the crumb, but, on the contrary, force him to do something, which is why he categorically refuses. Here it is worth thinking for a start: is it necessary to force it? If we are talking about refusal to eat, then certainly not. Making the baby eat is extremely harmful not only for his psyche, but also for his physical health. An organism, especially a child, is much smarter than us. The child intuitively feels that he needs now. Suppose today he prefers chicken, and tomorrow agrees to eat some pasta. Not scary. Of course, it would have been better if he had to go more often to fruits and vegetables, but, you see, the harm from the temporary pasta diet cannot be compared with spoiled health. And if the child refuses to eat at all? Just remember the old French wisdom: the child will never allow himself to die of hunger. The preferences of the baby in general should be taken into account whenever it can be done. Does a crumb refuse one-time diapers? Well, it means that the time has come to wean out of this achievement of civilization (in the daytime after nine months, it is strongly recommended by doctors). On the contrary, it requires a nipple, although it seems to be time to wean it off? Well, give him this nipple, especially if you do not want the baby to replace it with some object that is absolutely not suitable for constant sucking and gnawing.
Of course, all these tips for caring for a child who has a crisis in the first year of life may seem too liberal. It is much easier to put pressure on the child and make him do (or not do) what we consider necessary. Scarce cry, ponet, and then calm down, and everything seems to be fine. But it won't be good. It is worth asking yourself: how do you want to see your child? Surely not sluggish, inert, not able to make decisions coward. And not hysterical little rude, seeking the desired trivia with cry and tears. But pressure, as a method of communicating with a baby, is a sure way to raise a child like this. Crumbs, not accustomed to feeling respect for themselves, it is difficult to grow up a strong and balanced person, able to become a friend to their parents. In order to achieve his goal, he would rather come to his head to use tears, blackmail, and later - rudeness, than calmly, with a smile, say: “You know, Mom, I would like to do it like this. You do not mind?"
Games the best assistant to parents of a child in a crisis of his first year of life
What besides patience and understanding can help a child’s parents in a crisis of his first year of life? Of course, a sense of humor, creativity and ability to play. With these magical qualities, any "unsolvable" problem can be turned into a game situation. Let's say the kid had a cold, and the doctor told him to float his legs in a bucket. Try to put toy boats or other floating toys in the bucket. Or such a situation: even if it is time for the child to abandon disposable diapers, in the winter for a walk they are still necessary for him. But the baby refuses to wear them. A teddy bear can come to the rescue, who also goes for a walk and therefore puts on a diaper before going outside (together with the baby, tie a bear to a bear, symbolizing diapers). The bear will help out at the table, when the crumbs have to put on their apron (some children have problems with this piece of toilet). Is the child repelled by the sweater that mom pulls on him? You can play in the "shop" and offer the kid himself to "buy" one of his sweaters, laid out on the couch. In general, the right to choose (clothes, games, dishes) is a very important thing. Any peanut, striving for independence, will definitely appreciate such trust in his person. Help the child (and at the same time his parents) and games of a special kind - those that can be called developing. Such toys will give a way out of the creative energy of the baby and direct it to a completely peaceful course. For example, each one-year-old individual should have a pyramid, for starters a small one of 3-5 rings. Another wonderful toy is matryoshka. They are competing with any simple toys (or objects replacing them) that can be folded, disassembled, inserted, removed, in general, modified in every way. For example, the old switch, which is allowed as long as you want to turn on and off, can become a great toy for too active crumbs that are not allowed in the buttons of household appliances. And a can or a saucepan where things can be put is just a find.
Let's talk, mom!
Parents of a child of the first year of life are embarrassed not only by his disobedience and inclination for whims. A year is the age when a child learns to speak. And he already wants to be understood. That's just the baby communicates with us in his incomprehensible language. And without meeting understanding and sympathy, he is very bitterly offended. How to be? Only one way out - to talk more with the crumb, stimulating his speech development. To begin, let's try to master understanding. For example, dressing your baby, ask him to "help" you. Where is the shirt? Give me a shirt. And where are our slippers? Bring me, please, slippers. Gradually, slowly, the baby will begin to follow the instructions of the mother, and the new level of independence will help him to treat the boring dressing process with great patience and interest. Accompanying any actions (yours and the baby himself) with words will definitely help him to talk over time. This skill should be encouraged in every possible way, trying to get from the crumbs of active use of the words that he is already able to utter. Можно, например, не выполнять просьбу ребенка, если он выражает ее жестом и междометиями, хотя в состоянии произнести и слово. Поощряя каждую его словесную победу, нужно не забывать осваивать и новые слова и слоги, четко проговаривая их вместе с ребенком. Делать все это стоит просто потому, что, если малыш привыкнет быть понятным без слов, это может затормозить развитие его речи.
Шаг назад и два вперед – развиваемся с кризисом первого года жизни
А теперь резонно будет задать вопрос: так ли уж страшен кризис ребенка первого года жизни? Конечно нет. Taking a definite step back during this period, the baby takes two steps forward at the same time - in the direction of its physical and psychological maturity. Of course, he now needs the help of adults. It is no coincidence that at this age the child is so sensitive to the assessment of his actions by his parents, so desperately ready to attract mother's attention, throwing toys out of the arena and stomping his feet. A capricious, not too self-confident, aspiring to independence and still not afraid of anything, painfully proud and touchy, the child experiencing his first serious crisis is in dire need of constant parental support. Moreover, his orientation toward the assessment of an adult is an important condition for the correct development in the “one-year” period. Try to be patient, do not rush to scold and punish your unlucky self-seeker. And even if you want to scold him, it is always better to somehow emphasize that mother’s displeasure was caused by a specific act of the toddler, and not by him. If you manage to treat a child who is going through the first difficult period of his life with sympathy and respect, the crisis will soon disappear by itself. The crisis will be replaced by a period of stable development, when manifestations that have frightened parents turn into important gains: a new level of independence, new achievements. The negative manifestations can only be fixed by the character traits in one case: if the adults communicate with the child from the position of the strong: “Stop yelling and eating!”, “You can’t, I said!” - and nothing more. Acting with the child, but not in its place, can not only quickly overcome the crisis of the first year of life, but also lay a solid foundation for the harmonious development of the child and a wonderful, trusting relationship with him.