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One of the most unreliable. It is believed that the effectiveness of the method does not exceed 70%, almost every third act can be dangerous, since a small amount of sperm can stand out at the beginning of sexual intercourse. In addition, this "protection" can lead to sexual disorders in both partners.

Artificially prolonged intercourse

Also applies to unreliable methods. Of course, it prolongs the time of sexual enjoyment of partners and, as a rule, does not lead to ejaculation, but cannot guarantee security, since sperm is secreted not only during orgasm, but also with lubricant. In addition, if this method is used frequently, it can lead to impotence and health problems in a man (high blood pressure and headache).

"Samurai Egg"

Hot scrotum is an ancient Japanese method of temporary sterilization of a male by raising the temperature in the scrotum, which is achieved by taking a daily hot bath of 46.60 C for 45 minutes during the month. When the testicles are overheated, the production of spermatozoa is disturbed. By the way, the same effect is obtained if you sit behind the wheel of a car for more than four hours a day. After these procedures, the man becomes sterile for almost six months. Then everything is restored again in the same volume, but ... there is a danger of cancer.

Condom

Ideal for men. However, the condom can break, and its use requires a certain skill. Modern technologies offer high-strength and ultra-thin latex condoms of various lengths, colors and flavors. However, the condom can break, and its use requires a certain skill.

Subcutaneous implant for men

Ampoules containing "androgens" are implanted by the surgeon under the skin, where they dissolve within 2-4 weeks. When orgasm is released a small amount of "neutralized" sperm. The effect lasts about protects for 3-5 months. Sometimes there are not quite pleasant side effects (headaches, convulsions of the genital organs, etc.). The development of more advanced injectables continues - 1 injection in the arm annually or monthly.

Estrogen and Androgen Tablets

These tablets cause an increase in sexual desire and at the same time reduce the quality of sperm. You can consume within 1 month, and then take a break for 3-4 months. With too long use of the drug can occur side effects: mental disorders, reduced tone and interest in life.

Vasectomy

male contraception. This operation consists of cutting the vas deferens through which sperm comes from both testicles. About a month after her man becomes absolutely barren. Previously, the main disadvantage of a vasectomy was that a man was deprived of the opportunity to conceive a child for the rest of his life. At present, the operation “reverse vasectomy” has been developed, when the crossed vas deferens are again stitched, and the man again becomes capable of fertilization. The ability to conceive a child is restored in 90% of cases.

There is also an alternative technique where specially designed miniature valves are inserted into the vas deferens, which can be opened and re-closed at will by a very small operation.

Restored vasectomy with soft rubber corks that prevent sperm from moving. They are inserted surgically and can be removed.

Why become barren?

Having created man, the Lord commanded him: "Be fruitful and multiply." But people, as you know, are wayward beings. Do not feed us with bread, just let us break all the rules and commandments. And indeed, why darken the joy of sex, presented again by the Divine, by the fact that pleasure constantly ends with the birth of children. Well, somehow the plans of the Lord and the people did not coincide. One worried about us not becoming extinct, others about maximum satisfaction without consequences.

Of course, there are those women for whom pregnancy and childbirth are deadly.

So, to the absolute contraindications for the "interesting position" are:

  • some types of heart disease,
  • complicated hypertension,
  • renal and respiratory failure
  • epilepsy,
  • autoimmune diseases (lupus erythematosus, rheumatic process, liver cirrhosis, etc.),
  • malignant tumors,
  • some genetic diseases.

There may be other reasons. In particular, the third pregnancy after two cesarean sections is likely to be complicated by rupture of the uterine wall or other pathologies. Or there are factors that adversely affect the health of the unborn child, for example, genetically determined diseases.

In addition to absolute contraindications for pregnancy, there may be temporary.

For example, exacerbation of chronic diseases or acute infectious diseases. At such moments, the woman must take care of herself and do everything possible to ensure that subsequent pregnancy and childbirth proceed easily and without complications.

Based on the types of contraindications for conceiving and carrying a child, differ and the desired terms of infertility.

  • temporary, lasting in the period of recovery from acute diseases that are contraindications for pregnancy. This condition can be achieved by various methods of contraception,
  • constant. That is, a woman wants to forget about the birth of children for the rest of her life. Voluntary surgical sterilization (DHS), which is the most effective method of protection from pregnancy, is considered the most effective method for this.

Some questions DHS

The main word in this phrase is “voluntary.” That is, only a woman should decide whether to make herself fruitless or to wait with this responsible decision. Neither the doctor, nor the spouse, nor anyone else should have a moral or other effect on her. Even absolute contraindications of pregnancy cannot be a definite factor in sterilization. This may be a prerequisite. But the decision still remains for the woman.

This question is not only intra-family, which concerns a single unit of society. In general, DHS affects the demographic situation in the country. We do not live in China, where the birth rate is still very good, and therefore the state has made its own adjustments to the desire of its citizens. In almost every country, who, when and, for example, is legally enshrined where it can become fruitless. For example, in Russia, sterilization can be done to people over 35 years old, either with two children, or to those to whom this operation is prescribed for medical reasons. In Ukraine, this age is reduced to 18 years and the presence of children is not taken into account. But in Kyrgyzstan voluntary adult surgical sterilization can be done by all adult citizens of the country and its guests, both in public and private medical institutions.

Before agreeing to conduct the discussed surgical intervention, the irreversibility of the process of surgical sterilization should be considered. Therefore, you need to weigh all the pros and cons, all the risks and positive points before the final decision.

Sterilization: contraindications, types, effects

The very essence of sterilization is that artificial barriers are made to meet the egg cell and the spermatozoon, without which, as is well known, conception is impossible. With surgical intervention, all efforts are directed to blocking the fallopian tubes - the natural way from the uterus to the ovaries. That is, obstruction of the tubes is caused - something that a certain part of barren women who want to have a child is struggling with.

For carrying out voluntary surgical sterilization use several methods, namely:

  • bandaging or clamping pipes. Considered a reversible process. That is, if you remove the clips, it is theoretically possible pregnancy. Practice shows that this probability is very low
  • dissection or excision of pipes. The most reliable method of DHS,
  • coagulation (soldering) with a laser or electric current.

Also, surgery may vary in the pathways into the abdominal cavity, it can be:

  • conventional surgery. Most women prefer sterilization during cesarean section, killing two birds with one stone. After surgery, naturally, a scar remains on the stomach,
  • laparoscopy. Puncture marks for insertion into the abdominal cavity of a laparoscope are practically unnoticeable. Now is the most popular method when sterilization is carried out regardless of the birth (cesarean section),
  • culdoscopy. But after it there are no traces left at all, since the operation is performed through the vagina.

Like every surgical intervention DHS has its own contraindications. Some of them are standard for operations in general: cardiac and respiratory failure, diabetes mellitus, disorders of the blood clotting process, etc.

That is, although heart defects are absolute contraindications for pregnancy, alternative surgical sterilization methods of contraception will be offered to such a patient.

Also contraindications for DHS are:

  • pregnancy,
  • adhesive processes in the abdominal cavity,
  • obesity,
  • acute diseases of the reproductive system.

The consequences of this operation may be the same as in other surgeries: hematomas, injuries of other organs, and a departure from anesthesia. Doctors consider vasectomy (male sterilization) more acceptable, since it is simpler and less traumatic. The most unpleasant specific complication after bandaging or blockage of pipes is the possibility of ectopic pregnancy.

Many people are interested in: is there life after sterilization? There is and its quality does not change dramatically. Since the surgery does not concern hormone-dependent and active organs of the reproductive system, the woman continues the normal menstrual cycle. Yes, and the quality of sexual relations, the procedure does not affect. Is that the lady is becoming more liberated in terms of the fact that she no longer needs to be afraid of unwanted pregnancy.

There is a part of women who have regretted what was done and who want to return everything back in order to have a baby. After the excision of the fallopian tubes, a healthy egg does not enter the uterus, but into the abdominal cavity. There is an opportunity to catch her for further artificial insemination. But it is clear that this procedure is not so easy. So, in the case of the sterilization, the lady needs not seven, but a hundred times to measure and make a decision. By the way, the operation can be abandoned at any time.

With the help of drugs

Doctors block the passage of sperm in streams with a injection with a special gel

In 2014, scientists invented the gel, which blocked the promotion of sperm in streams. Thus, a man does not fertilize a woman.

The gel is injected by a urologist after testing in the form of an injection. After this, the exit of sperm is blocked. The main advantage: as soon as a man wants to regain the opportunity to conceive a child, he will need to introduce a new injection with a gel, which will cancel the effect of the previous one. Thus, this sterility is reversible and acts for some time. Buying gels and introducing them is much cheaper than performing a vasoresection, when in the process of surgical intervention fragments of the vas deferens are removed.

Clinical trials have already been conducted on male baboons. After the introduction of the gel, none of the females were pregnant for a year. At the same time all the functions and sexual strength in monkeys are preserved.

Domestic urologists consider the tool dangerous and would like to get more data on the consequences of the application. According to urologists andrologists from Russia, such gels can cause irreparable damage to the epithelium of the ducts, which is extremely important for the passage of ejaculate. As a result, a man can remain fruitless forever, whereas after the operation for five years the reproductive function is restored. This is clinically confirmed.

It is also known that there are other studies designed specifically for men: these are tablets, powders and other drugs that can affect the cessation of sperm production.

Men taking certain medications prescribed by a doctor in connection with any disease, noticed that they could not conceive a child. Some drugs have side effects in the form of infertility.

Having carefully studied the market and patient reviews, we can safely conclude that the most common drug today is Androcur. His strength is the effect on potency, but with the ability to have children, the desire to have sex at all disappears, and erection does not occur at all. A man just does not need sex.

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In addition, drugs that affect the ability to have offspring, there are side effects in the form of hormonal changes, mood swings and excess weight.

Drug Androkur

If you leave the topic of drugs and recall the brome in the form of pharmaceutical powder, then it is worth remembering that small amounts, consumed regularly with food and drink, lead to complete sterility without a chance for a cure.

Doctors remind that bromine in its pure form is a toxic substance, and not a medicine, which, if it enters the body, is capable of poisoning the body and causing death.

Surgical methods

Sterilization is one of the most radical methods that makes a man sterile. It has the exclusive property of solving problems due to only one simple operation. For twenty minutes, an experienced doctor with a few cuts for life will deprive you of the need to pay alimony and start convulsively after each sex. Moreover, the patient will not need to be in the hospital: he can immediately go home.

Parotitis

Having lost the opportunity to have children, a man will not lose the taste for sex or the desire to have it. No apathy will come.

Men mistakenly believe that vasectomy and castration are one and the same, but do not confuse the two procedures. A vasectomy is ligated or a fragment of the vas deferens is removed. And the passage of sperm becomes impossible. With castration, the scrotum is completely removed. And the sperm is simply not produced in the body of a man. Castration is an irreversible process. Do it offer only in extreme cases. A vasectomy is reversible.

Vasectomy

If a man decides within 5 years that he wants to have children, he can go to the hospital for duct repair.

The effectiveness of surgical intervention

Experienced doctors believe that the performance of a vasectomy is close to 100 percent. However, it will be necessary to be constantly monitored by the urologist, since over time, the vas deferens can recover.

The advantages of this procedure:

  • pregnancy with proper surgery will not come,
  • the partner can be calm and not afraid to get pregnant, which will allow her to completely turn off her head and have fun,
  • ease of operation and its painlessness,
  • absence of complications afterwards,
  • not related to hormone production,
  • does not affect fertility and endurance during intercourse.

  • the opportunity to remain barren (sometimes even after the decision to resume the childbearing function and the desire to become a father may experience difficulties with the restoration of ducts),
  • discomfort in the groin on the first day after surgery,
  • despite the operation, you will have to use additional methods of contraception at first, until the effect of the operation is fully manifested,
  • the operation does not protect against the risk of catching infectious diseases from sexual partners, including HIV.

No one is immune from the fact that the seed passages will be restored and become passable, as is the case with female sterilization.

Limitations for Vasectomy

Of course, there are restrictions that relate to both the age and social status of men: a special interest is the psychological state of those who want to do this operation.

They will not be refused an operation if the man is more than thirty years old and he already has a family, two or more children. In addition, this should be the desire of the man himself.

If the companion may experience irreversible changes and health problems after pregnancy or, for example, the use of one or another type of contraception is extremely undesirable, then this is an effective method, a noble step on the part of the man.

Spermatogenesis Stimulation

Кроме того, вазэктомия может быть предписана врачом по медицинским показаниям в связи с состоянием здоровья вне зависимости от социального положения и наличия или отсутствия наследников на момент обращения.

Contraindications

Существует ряд причин, по которым могут отказать пациенту в проведении операции:

  • если мужчина сам не хочет, но кто-то заставляет делать операцию,
  • сомнения. Когда пациент не уверен в правильности своего решения, то операцию не проведут.

Если все вышеперечисленное не пугает, то пациенту заранее дают ознакомиться с перечнем осложнений, с которыми он может столкнуться:

  • инфекция в послеоперационный период, занесенная в еще незажившую рану,
  • небольшой отек или отек больше положенного,
  • severe hemorrhage, which can be observed in the scrotum.

At home

In addition to too radical methods, traditional medicine offers its own ways. They will allow a man to become barren at home. However, it is important to make a reservation right away: such methods are not reliable compared to surgery, and often can lead to the fact that a man only hurts himself and his health.

Recent statistics suggest that it is not necessary to go under the knife to remain fruitless forever. The ordinary life of an average citizen who does not lead a healthy life will be enough to never experience the charms and sorrows of fatherhood.

Even the ancient Greeks noticed that if you take daily baths with hot water to deprive yourself of the opportunity to fertilize women, pregnancy does not occur. The effect of male infertility with regular manipulations was maintained for at least six months. True, of course, no one will give a 100% guarantee that even if steaming hot water, the partner will not “fly”.

Sedentary lifestyle can lead to male infertility

In the age of modern technology, to become fruitless, it is enough to spend more than four hours a day in a sitting position. This also applies to men with a sedentary lifestyle.

No wonder one of the models of underwear for men of free cut is called "family". Tight underwear is a direct path to the first symptoms of infertility.

As it turned out, not all sport has a beneficial effect on the body. So, cycling or equestrian sport - is faithful helpers in male impotence.

It's no secret that the abuse of alcohol, drugs and other substances blocks the ability to produce male hormones.

HOW FROM A YOUNG HEALTHY WOMAN TO MAKE A SICK AND BABY

All of the following is not a description of one particular fate - it is a collective picture that has developed from my personal impressions of 10 years of communication with Russian obstetricians, gynecologists, and their many victims (yes, just like that - victims). Written in the hope that someone will be able to learn from the mistakes of others, and not on their own.

Particularly impressionable - do not read!

So, 21-year-old Masha Ivanova, completely healthy and recently married, decided for the first time in her life to turn to a gynecologist because of intermittent pain in her side, lower abdomen. Pain continues for several days in the middle of the menstrual cycle.

The doctor - Margarita Yakovlevna Zeltser (an expert with experience, Ph.D., gold teeth & gold-rimmed glasses), after examining Masha, discovered that these pains are due to the process of follicle maturation - this process is completely normal and does not require any treatment. After ovulation — that is, the release of a mature egg from a bursting follicle — these pains disappear naturally.

There is no need for treatment here, but Margarita Yakovlevna solemnly declares to the frightened Masha:
- I am writing to you - adnexitis! - and prescribes antibiotics, including trihopol.

Of course, Margarita Yakovlevna knows perfectly well that in the second half of the cycle, i.e. after ovulation - to appoint such antibiotics to women who have sex, you can not. But nevertheless he appoints: "Oh, what adnexit! What is there to save you now."

Of course, Masha drinks these antibiotics for 2 days before ovulation and 5 days after ovulation, not thinking of protecting herself from pregnancy - how would she know what such confidence in Margarita Yakovlevna’s prescriptions is fraught with.

And then something happened that was supposed to happen: Masha became pregnant exactly in the cycle in which antibiotics were taken.

- There is only an abortion! - solemnly declares Margarita Yakovlevna. - Antibiotics in the very early stages of pregnancy, when fetal organs are only formed - what do you want to give birth to a monster?

Margarita Yakovlevna is a very good doctor. She knows perfectly well that within five days after fertilization, the egg travels through the fallopian tube into the uterus, and only on day 6 implantation begins, so that until that time no antibiotics and other effects from the mother’s body are absolutely dangerous for the fetus.

Margarita Yakovlevna knows perfectly well that by the time of implantation the antibiotic was already finished, but nevertheless convinces Masha Ivanov that besides abortion there is no other way out:
- It is better to have an abortion once, but then give birth to a healthy child, than to suffer with inferior one all my life!

For greater conviction, she invites Masha's husband to the reception, and as a result Masha sobbing under the "double fire" by Margarita Yakovlevna and her own frightened hubby consents to an abortion, which - for some money - is made by Margarita Yakovlevna herself, right in her office, as complete a hard day's work.

“After an abortion, reliable contraception is needed for a year, otherwise a habitual miscarriage may occur,” says Margarita Yakovlevna, and she offers Masha a choice of: depo-prover or norplant. Frightened by the norplant, Masha agrees to check, and Margarita Yakovlevna gives her an injection.

After a second injection, after 90 days, Masha's menstrual function stops altogether.

- It will take place after the abolition of the drug! - consoles Margarita Yakovlevna and Masha makes the third injection, then the fourth. Then Masha realizes that she will stop doing them already and begins to wait for a new pregnancy.

But alas, there is no pregnancy, not even menstruation: this is another 3 months, and Masha again goes to Margarita Yakovlevna.

- I recommend you oral contraceptive pills, after you stop taking them, you should recover ovulation! - happily informs Masha Margarita Yakovlevna.

Of course, science knows the so-called "re-phenomenon" - the effect of cancellation, when, after artificially suppressing the function of a certain organ (in this case, the ovaries), there is a sharp increase in its activity. But after depo-provery, such a “therapy” most likely will only aggravate post-contraceptive amenorrhea, and Margarita Yakovlevna knows this very well - she is a very good doctor.

Masha still 3 months dutifully swallows OK. But even after canceling OK, ovulation is not restored. Margarita Yakovlevna sends Masha for an ultrasound.
- Follicles 2 mm, dominant - no, endometrium is also 2 mm. what will be menstruated here ?? - Margarita Yakovlevna is indignant, looking in the help-conclusion of ultrasound diagnostics.

- You need hormone replacement therapy! - happily concludes Margarita Yakovlevna, and appoints Masha estrophic and duphaston.

Against the background of this "hormone replacement therapy," it is possible to "increase" the endometrium to 5 mm.

The follicle does not want to mature - ovulation as it was, wasn’t (there’s still someone who, like Margarita Yakovlevna, doesn’t know well about the peculiarity of the pituitary and ovaries interaction: and will not give the "ovarian team" to start work ").

“Five millimeters is not enough, for a normal implantation of an egg you need nine,” Margarita Yakovlevna broadcasts thoughtfully. - We need to go to the stimulation!

And Masha sends for a comprehensive examination of everything and everyone, to find out "whether there are any contraindications," and for the most important analysis - the spermogram that her husband must do.

- We will stimulate you for a long time with all sorts of drugs, and then it turns out that there is only 2 percent motility in semen. We must immediately eliminate the barreness of your husband! - she explains to Masha.

But as soon as Masha stutters to her spouse about spermogram - he makes such a scandal that it suddenly comes to her: the man categorically does not tolerate hints that he may be fruitless and not his wife. Any attempts to hint to him about the need to make spermogram make him have only one desire - to change his wife.

After two months of tormenting - standing in line to different rooms, giving blood and urine for hormones against the background of "tests" and "control" studies, exhausted Masha again comes to Margarita Yakovlevna.
- I give you Clomid 100 mg at night for five days! - writes Margarita Yakovlevna a new drug.

Clomid, it is - clostilbegit, active ingredient - clomifentirate: hormonal drug of anti-estrogenic action. It is a fairly powerful inducer of ovulation for women with hyperestrogenism. In the case of a chronic lack of endogenous estrogens, clomid cannot cause ovulation: the overgrown follicle is safely transformed into a tekaluiteinovy ​​cyst.

Having discovered three pieces of these same cysts on the next ultrasound (testifying also that there is a clear overdose of Clomid), Margarita Yakovlevna is not confused:
- They themselves will disappear after menstruation! - and appoints a second course of clomid.

- Oh, you know, ninety percent of women are resistant to Clomid, but it works very well on you! - she happily informs Masha after looking at the ultrasound machine monitor of four freshly formed cysts, and appoints the third course.

After this course, Masha has a delayed menstruation.

- Urinalysis for pregnancy is unreliable, you need to immediately donate blood to hcg! It costs 700 rubles! - Margarita Yakovlevna declares.

Shocked Masha pays the money and. after another couple of days, she begins to bleed.

- A blood test for hCG gave too small a number: we call it "biochemical pregnancy"! - secretly informs Masha Margarita Yakovlevna.

- Now, after Clomid, you need a break of three months, continue to drink estrofem and on the 11th and 22nd day of the cycle, come to the ultrasound.

Ultrasound shows that the follicles have grown to 5 mm, there is no dominant, the endometrium, as before - 5 mm. Pregnancy, of course, does not occur.

“You know, I had women who were safely pregnant at 5 millimeters,” Masha Margarita Yakovlevna says thoughtfully. - If you are not pregnant, then you need to treat the uterus. Lie down in the hospital, I have a very good specialist there, Boris Iosifovich, he doesn’t need anything - just put $ 500 on the table, and $ 200 each for ampoules. (appraising glance at the car outfit). I think that five ampoules on the first course will be enough.

When Masha stutters her husband that a regular курс course ’needs one and a half thousand dollars, he explodes:“ what the hell, so much money has already been spent, if you are barren, you just have to accept this and not suffer bullshit. ”

And Masha, who has celebrated her 25th birthday, is humbled: she is barren, we must put up a cross and forget the silly dreams of a child.

Machines' organism, which finally received a respite from Zeltser’s “treatment”, comes alive after a while: Masha suddenly has a delay for no reason, but she no longer believes that it is a pregnancy, and only comes to her senses when sick of the kind of beloved husband.

Overjoyed, Masha runs to the antenatal clinic. There sits (in ambush) a wonderful doctor - Tina Georgievna Rosenblat (PhD, gold teeth & gold-framed glasses).
- On an abortion? she says, busily.
- What do you! - Masha gets scared, - I'm registered!

Tina Georgievna gives Masha a long, long list of cabinets she needs to go around.

And stupid Masha starts walking around these cabinets. Almost immediately, she discovers that in front of each room there is a huge line of patients of both sexes, wheezing, coughing and squishing snot. Grandmas with “pressure” and adolescents with rubella make some variety.

After the first day of the “round,” Masha returns home completely broken, without going through a quarter of all the cabinets. The next day she has a temperature of 38.7.

- Once you are pregnant - in no case do not drink any antibiotics! - states the ambulance doctor called up by the frightened Masha. - Use only home remedies, alcohol wipes, cold compresses.

So he leaves.

Having suffered for three days with “wiping off,” Masha suddenly clearly understands: the temperature does not even think of falling. In addition, a terrible cough begins, the nasal mucosa swells, but all the signs of early toxicosis disappear, and some strange blood “smear” begins.

- Zamerchaya pregnancy, - diagnoses Tina Georgievna, looking at the conclusion of the ultrasound, when after two weeks Masha still crawls to the clinic. - There is a deformed fetus in the uterus, no heartbeat, the cavity is enlarged, hyper- and hypoechoic inclusions. The diagnosis - the begun miscarriage of small term. I am writing you an outfit to the hospital for hospitalization. You will be discharged - do not forget to take histology from them.

A kind nurse, escorting Masha to the ward, gives a reconnaissance of local conditions:
- If our head of our department cleans you, this is good, and if Abbas is a complete fuck. But until Monday, no one will be there anyway, because all anaesthesiologists are scheduled for the week ahead, and without an anesthesiologist it is impossible.

Masha was lucky: she was headed by the head of the department - the battle woman of Stalin's hardening, without a degree, gold teeth and a gold frame.

- Expander insert? - Masha hears through the approaching nausea.
- What are you going to expand here ?? - the old woman rattles. - It's all been extended long ago! Why is she not falling asleep ?? Such a small, anesthesia was given, as big, but she turns her head!
- Yes it's me. Togo. this. I can not get into a vein after yesterday. Ugh, damn you, by again. na let's better mask her. Ay, fuck, dropped! - someone's voice is mumbling, and Masha, with her eyes wide open, suddenly sees someone's ass, covered conditionally with a white coat, that rushes under the operating chair.

Masha does not have time to be frightened of how a combat granny takes a syringe into her own hands - the needle finally bites in the right place, and Masha covers the gloom.

Then Masha finds herself sitting in the corridor and shaking from the cold.
- Oh, how did you start shaking - we were already scared! - the kind nurse happily tells Masha. Masha is not able to answer.

“You'll come for histology in two weeks,” indifferently tells Masha the aunt, who draws up the statement.

“Well, you did everything well,” Tina Georgievna says through clenched teeth after the examination and ultrasound, “there are no complications.”

For 27 years, Masha pretty wiser. She no longer goes to Margarita Yakovlevna and Tina Georgievna, does not drink antibiotics and hormonal drugs. True, Masha's husband and her mother-in-law were already completely convinced that she was “married”: she could not give birth normally.
- If you do not give birth, he will divorce you! - constantly repeating mother-in-law. - A family without children is not a family!

Husband listens to his mother with a view of the holy martyr.

But finally, Masha is pregnant again. Now she is not running to the antenatal clinic so early - she waits until the sixth month.
- The term is already VERY big! - Masha Tina Georgievna pointedly informs.

Masha understands a hint, but bravely disappoints Tina Georgievna:
- I'm not on an abortion. I'm registered.
“You came too late for payment!” - gloatingly reports Tina Georgievna.

For those who do not know: in our state, women who are registered for pregnancy in the "early stages" - that is, up to 11 weeks - put some kind of penny lump sum payment.

Masha doesn't care about this “payout”: Masha needs a child.

“Starodayuschaya,” Tina Georgievna continues to fill in the pieces of paper, “in history, spontaneous miscarriage.” you have such complications! You need to go to our obstetric center, do a special blood test to find out if there is any damage to the fetus. We are sending everyone - see, a special form, they send us such, so that women can do this analysis MANDATORY! Go there, look - there is a very good hospital, maybe there you will give birth.

Shocked by such sudden courtesy, Masha takes this direction.

Having traveled half the town and having stood in the reception desk for a long queue, Masha stretches her direction through the window:
- I was sent to you from the antenatal clinic for a blood test.
- Oh, yes that they are in that consultation, they all went crazy. - Masha hears in response. - They send and send, and what the timing. This analysis is done BEFORE the twelfth week.

Masha goes home, berating herself for her gullibility to the courtesy of Tina Georgievna. The next day, Masha's temperature rises again. But now Masha is not so stupid: she immediately takes ampicillin, and after the first pill the temperature drops.

“You were saved only by the fact that the gestational age was already long,” Tina Georgievna, through Masha, told about her ORVI, is shaking her teeth.

When she comes to the next reception, Masha discovers that the office is closed: Tina Georgievna has gone to some kind of “courses”, instead of she will be taken by a doctor from another district - Karina Arkadyevna Ginzburg.

At the door - a turn of thirty people. There is nothing to sit on - all the shops along the wall are already occupied. From the office comes a lively conversation - her friend came to Karina Arkadyevna, and they exchange impressions of her recent purchases.

After 15 minutes, Karina Arkadyevna and her friend solemnly swim out of the office, and the line comes to life - well, at last they have spoken, now the reception will begin! An was not the case: after seeing off her friend, Karina Arkadyevna immediately went off somewhere, locking the cabinet.

It takes another half hour. The queue grows, gradually filling the entire lobby. Finally, one of the women does not stand up and begins to break into the registry:
- Is a mockery. See which queue! When will the reception.
- Oh what are you yelling. The doctor has no right to drink tea ?? - a voice is heard from the window.

In line, a riot is gradually brewing:
- Where is your supervisor? В каком она кабинете. Пусть она придёт сюда и посмотрит, что здесь творится.

Тут, наконец, появляется Карина Аркадьевна и открывает кабинет.

Приём начинается. Когда подходит очередь, Маша на отечных ногах вползает в кабинет.
- Женщина, где ваш анализ на ХГч? - бьёт с налёта Карина Аркадьевна.
- А. я. . не сдавала, - бормочит растерявшаяся Маша.
- КАК. - возмущения Карины Аркадьевны нет предела. - Немедленно сдавать на ХГч.

Маша вылетает из кабинета, прижимая к груди бумажку-направление.

В глубине души Машу гложут сомнения: анализ на ХГч сдаётся вроде бы только до 12 недели, а у неё уже почти шесть месяцев. But nothing can be done: they sent it so they sent - you have to take it.

The next visit to Karina Arkadievna, Masha takes her husband with her - for moral support. Having received a piece of paper with the result of the analysis on the HCG in the registry, they enter Karina Arkadyevna’s office.

Karina Arkadevna looks at the squiggles in a piece of paper.
- Are you a husband? - she turns to the machine spouse. - Stand here. Lean against the wall.

After a theater break, she solemnly reports:
- You have little!
- WHY is not enough? - Dumbfounded asks Mashina's husband.

- That, - Karina Arkadyevna pronounces instructively, - on what passed, that and a little. Here is the figure - see? She is very small!
- So what? - the husband does not understand the Machines.
- And then. Who ever told you that you are pregnant? - Karina Arkadyevna turns to Masha. - You have a week delay. Just you are such a big woman, everything inside you is so big there, so it seems that you are pregnant.

And then Masha breaks through:
“What the hell is the weekly delay?” I have almost six months.
- How are six months? - surprised Karina Arkadevna. - What is your last name? Are you Kurochkin?
- No, I'm not Kurochkina. shouts Masha.
- Oh, so you are not Kurochkina! - sighs with relief Karina Arkadyevna. - Then why did you give on the HCG? It was not necessary to pass.

But this is not all testing. One fine day Masha’s bell at work rang, and a female voice busily reports:
- You urgently need to come to office number 26, you have a bad RW!

RW, also known as the Wasserman reaction, is a blood test for syphilis. When pregnancy is often false-positive.

“You do not worry,” a kind nurse from office number 26 consoles Masha. “Apparently, you still have the third stage of syphilis, that is, not the last. The latest - the fourth!

And Masha is sent to the skin-vein dispensary.

Having calmed down after a hysterical seizure, having swallowed valerian, Masha crawls in the KVD and it turns out that the female doctor is on vacation.
- There is only male. Will you go? Or come next week.

Masha is not able to wait another week. She dutifully drags herself to the indicated room. Six hachecks of various ages are already sitting near him, which are immediately accepted with interest to look at Masha.

In the office there is a young such boy who understands everything at once, barely glancing at Masha's face.
“Do not worry, you do not have any syphilis,” he immediately declares to Masha.
- But how so. After all, they said that the third stage. How can this be in the body, so that syphilis is not, and according to analysis - the third stage?
“And very simply it can be in the body,” the boy answers efficiently. “It can then be when your analysis mixed up your analysis with someone else’s.”

Having received the result of the repeated analysis in a week - i.e. Documentary evidence of her absence of syphilis - Masha rushes to the antenatal clinic with the firm intention to blow it all to pieces.

- Do you know what we got here because of you ?? - Karina Arkadyevna is running straight at her from the doorway. - We have such a commission because of you. After all, a person with the third stage of syphilis walks around the district, and we cannot establish his last name.

Masha is so stunned by this pressure that she completely loses all her aplomb.
- Get up on the scales! - Karina Arkadievna is in command. - How many have you got there?

Hearing the answer, she starts screaming again:
- You have dystrophy! The child for 6 months of pregnancy gained only 600 grams in weight. We urgently need a hospital!

After some altercation, it turns out that there is no dystrophy: it’s just that Tina Georgievna entered Masha’s weight on her first visit in the “weight before pregnancy” column.

But this is the last straw: Masha writes a statement that she refuses to observe in this antenatal clinic.

Without an “observation”, the pregnancy machine develops quite well: at week 38, an ultrasound scan definitely shows that Masha will have a normal healthy girl who already weighs at least 3 kg. A week later, Masha suddenly begins to have pain in her right side and some watery discharge. Calling the hospital chosen in advance, Masha explains the situation.
“This is your appendicitis,” they report indifferently at the other end.
- What, nafig, apendicitis, - Masha breaks down, - I had an apendix cut out 20 years ago!
“And, well, if this is not appendicitis, then come,” they graciously allow at that end of the line.

Arriving at the emergency department, Masha tries to explain that she has a sharp pain in her side and, perhaps, water is flowing away - you need to see the doctor.
“Take off your clothes and shower,” the nurse commands. - We have a reception through the maternity ward.

Having undergone all the necessary "procedures", Masha hardly squeezes her swollen legs into the "washable" slippers issued to her, puts on her official shirt. and it turns out that there are three holes on the shirt: under each breast and behind. Somehow grabbing the torn cloth with her hands, Masha, behind the nurse, waddles into the maternity ward — the path lies through a corridor in which, apart from drafts, a mass of some people of both sexes are pushed.

Masha already has it all - just to walk and lie on something. Finally, she is in the ward, she is placed on the couch, after warning that it is necessary to spread a “bedcloth diaper”. Angelic creature swims up with a beamed face:
“I am your midwife, my name is Lena, note the time between contractions, I will come to you later,” she rattles off and disappears.

Masha does not have time to tell her that she has no fights - she has a sharp pain in her side!

But there is nothing to do: left alone, Masha tries to find somewhere a watch for which it is ordered to detect time (they have taken theirs from her, for "it is not supposed"). There is a clock on the wall. However, they not only hang, but also stand.

"What is - a quarter to two all the time? This is a pressure gauge!" - Masha remembers the famous joke of humor.

After some time, Masha discovers that there is no vessel in the ward. She tries to hail nurses darting along the corridor at third speed:
- And give, please, the ship!
- Girls, girls, you are not in childbirth! We bring the ship only to those who are in labor, and to you - along the corridor to the right! - comes back.

Masha waddles in the indicated direction and instructs that in the so-called “toilet” there is only one small, low children's toilet. Reflecting on what guides those who equip bathrooms in the maternity wards, Masha is trying to somehow settle down on this miracle of plumbing - however, it is not easy even without a 39-week belly.

After returning to the ward, Masha tries to have fun, staring through the glass partitions at what is happening in the neighborhood, but soon it stops taking her up.

The terrible screams of women and the comments of the medical staff gradually merge into a monotonous noise - Masha decides to strike a sleep over hunger.

Towards evening, a kind nurse comes into the ward and brings a glass of compote to the hungry Masha who is hungry:
- Quickly drink - you are not supposed to, you are in labor!

Masha is trying to find out how long she still has to be here.

- Tomorrow, in the morning, the place must be freed up in the "pathology", then you will be raised there.

Department of pathology of pregnant women is available at every hospital. There send women who have any suspicions of abnormal pregnancy.

Masha is reluctant to "pathology", especially since the pain in her side has long gone.
- Can I go home? Why do I just lie here.
- HOME! - the escaping nurse laughs. - No one will come out pregnant.
- Girls, girls, all we give birth! - her voice is heard. - Who does not conceive by the evening, those tomorrow will raise in the "pathology"!

The next day, Masha is already in "pathology": she thinks that everything is not so bad - at least there are normal beds and three meals a day. Moreover: they returned her things to her - a watch, a comb and her own laundry!

At night, she wakes up from the fact that the bed was wet. Masha understands that this water has diverted. She lags around the post where, in theory, there should be a nurse. But she's not there - Masha goes to the ordinance room, knocking on the door. Finally, a sleepy physiognomy appears from there:
- What do you want?
- I got the water out.
- What, nah, water - three in the morning! This is your thrush — tomorrow on the round you'll show Anna Genrikhovna, she will take a smear for you. Go to sleep.

And so that Masha no longer wriggles along the corridor, a kind nurse gives her an injection of Dimedrol.

Masha wakes up at 11 am - the round is in full swing:
- Where is the bubble ?? - Anna Genrikhovna rages, feeling the Machines belly. - There is already no bubble! She needs to be in the delivery room urgently.

Still, Anna Genrikhovna would not rage: an anhydrous period of more than 6 hours significantly contributes to the occurrence of inflammation of the fetal membranes and neonatal sepsis, which is fraught with death for both the mother and the newborn. An anhydrous interval of more than 6 hours is also a contraindication for cesarean section. Therefore, it was decided to assume that if it is impossible to deliver through the natural birth canal, after the critical period of the anhydrous period (24 hours), the fetus is already dead. It is removed from the uterus in parts, by fruit-destroying operation.

“Woman, why didn't you immediately say that you had pains in your side?” The fetal shell is not necessarily broken from the bottom, it can break in another place - the water first leaks a little bit, and then the bubble finally breaks. You should have called the doctor right away, why didn't you call ?? You are 28 years old, and you mumble something, like a 15-year-old girl! - Anna Genrikhovna is ruining.

So Masha is again in the delivery room: she is immediately dropped in a dropper with oxytocin. The contractions become strong, but the neck opening is not.

“I looked half an hour ago,” Anna Genrikhovna says indignantly, “it was two fingers away, and now there are as many!

Although Masha's body continues to contort from useless fights, her strength and consciousness are slowly leaving, and the pain disappears. The child doesn’t give signs of life for a long time, so nothing prevents Masha from plunging into the cold and hopeless nirvana.

But in her happiness, Anna Genrikhovna ends the shift. Instead, in the maternity ward is the same fighting lady as described above by the head of the city hospital.

Barely glancing at Masha, the old woman, without any offense, commands:
- So, I will operate! Operating me fast!

Waking up, Masha did not immediately understand where she was and what had happened to her. To the bottom of the abdomen, it is as if a kind of nasty oilcloth is stuck, from which everything hurts. A kind nurse gives Masha a drink and explains that she is in the intensive care unit.

- Skesarili you. Oh, well, you gave heat to the whole brigade! They brought another woman - with a planned Caesarean, so they sent her back to the "pathology" - there was no time, everyone was busy with you!

Masha hardly remembers that her child should be somewhere.
- Your daughter died - you had an infection. Get well so that next time you give birth to a healthy one.

It takes 11 days.
Before discharge, Masha is last examined by the very old woman who performed her operation.
- What are you hysterical fighting? - she grumbles. - Say thank you, that she herself remained alive. And, strangely enough, you have no complications: here I look - the uterus of 10 cm is the norm after cesarean. I have a woman on the second floor - she was much easier than you, and there are so many complications - oh-her!

- Wait three years, and give birth to yourself, how much you want! - she admonishes Masha goodbye.

After returning home, Masha discovers that her husband finally believed his mom that it’s not worth living with such a sick and fruitless wife. Moreover, the alternative has long been ready. The next year, Masha is in the pre-divorce rush. She has to celebrate her thirtieth birthday already in a divorced state - as a consolation she invites her colleague to herself.

Two months later, Masha again comes to see Margarita Yakovlevna:
- Make me an abortion, I divorced my husband. - she asks Margarita Yakovlevna.
- Oh, - laments Margarita Yakovlevna, - You were treated so much! How I feel sorry for you to do this abortion.

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