Home »Tips for parents» Useful recommendations »Why is the child afraid of going to the toilet? Causes and methods to overcome fear
Quite a rare problem of childhood age is the fear of going to the toilet for the most part. This fear can concern, both a campaign on a pot, and on a toilet bowl. Also, very often children are psychologically afraid to go to the toilet in kindergarten or at school. What are the possible causes of such fear in children and methods for overcoming them? For proper assistance to the baby, it is necessary to consider all possible options separately.
The child is afraid of much to go to the toilet on the pot
Very often, children from the age of 12 months, experiencing psycho-emotional changes in connection with development, flatly refuse to comply with the requests of parents. This is not a rare problem is the refusal of the child to go to the pot in large. Here the main thing is to recognize the reason in time: it is just a psychological rebellion or a real fear caused by something. Often, in response to this, parents, not understanding the reasons, in every way aggravate it, punishing the baby and raising his voice to it. First of all, you need to understand what is the cause of this fear and how can it be resolved?
The main reasons for the fear of the baby in front of the pot:
- Potty training at a too early age, when the child is not yet able to physiologically control his emptying. Given from the fact that he can independently control the process of defecation at the age of 1.5-3.0 years, it is not necessary to insist on it too soon. Let the habituation to emptying take place in the form of a game with a baby, while it is inapplicable to praise him during each successful campaign on the pot.
- When abruptly put the baby on the pot for the first time. When he had not yet understood what it was and how to behave with him, the kid would be wary of the pot. It is also not necessary to abruptly squat on him like a child can be afraid of his hungry and slippery primary sensations, which can cause fear in him.
- Fear just before emptying. When parents or other adults reacted too violently to the fact that the child did not have time to reach the pot and poked around in his pants, he would be afraid to do it on the show - to the pot. This can lead to conscious restraint of feces and lead to constipation. Such fear may even occur in a child at preschool age, when he will be afraid to go to the toilet in the garden due to a change of atmosphere.
- If the child has experienced constipation. Fear can occur in a young child due to the fear that such unpleasant pain comes from the pot. In this case, he will try to hold back until the last and crap into the pants.
- If the parents are too strict with the baby and force him to sit on the pot for a long time until he pokes, and with a good emptying, they will not praise the kid. This can cause fear in the child and dislike of the pot.
- The child may be afraid that if he will sit on the pot for a long time, then something will grab his ass there. This may be caused later by unsuccessful jokes by adults. In this case, the child needs to be explained that no one is there and show that the pot is empty and nothing can be in it.
- If small too shy, that through an unpleasant smell later defecation can cause him shame and fear of others.
How to help the child get rid of the fear of the pot?
First of all, you do not need to be too persistent in this regard and temporarily lag behind the child with the pot before the period when he begins to wake up his fears. It is necessary to offer to go pope, not imposing, but with the slightest resistance, not to show perseverance.
If the child refuses to go large to his pot, he can be offered to buy a new one, the one he chooses himself. The invented fairy tales about the pot on the part of adults help, as well as exponential games with a pot of toys sitting on it that are not at all afraid of sitting on it.
Need to know! You should not be too persistent about going to the pot for a large child, if he flatly refuses and begins to be capricious, it can aggravate the problem even more. For its resolution it is necessary, first of all, to find out the reason for its appearance and in every possible way to help the child overcome it.
Dr. Komarovsky: how to teach the pot?
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The child is afraid to go to the toilet after constipation
ABOUTThere is a recent constipation that is a common cause of fear of children before going to the toilet. This problem causes the development of psychological constipation in a child. From the age of two, the children are already able to control their body and therefore, in the event of any experienced problem of going to the pot, they do it in every possible way, restraining from their last strength. As a rule, constipation at a psychological level is aggravated by the appearance of physical constipation in a child when he wants to go to the pot, but is restrained in every way through fear, as a result of which he becomes hardened.
The most common cause of a child’s fear of going to the toilet is the survivors of the discomfort associated with emptying. This can be caused by constipation and the formation of painful cracks as a result of this. In this case, the child clearly remembers the pain and in every possible way tries to isolate herself from it, avoiding the pot and enduring to the last, when, not holding back, he poops into his pants. Any persuasion of parents and relatives to go to the pot is not crowned with success, because the child’s fear is stronger.
How to help overcome the fear of the child before going to the toilet in large?
First of all, parents need to be patient in order to overcome psychological constipation as this process will be rather lengthy. On average, it can last about 1.5-3 months.
The main tasks for parents are:
- To help the child make the stool soft and painless, without uncomfortable repetition.
The main task of parents is to provide a soft chair for the child, so that there are no reasons for the occurrence of pain. The time will come and he will understand that there is nothing bad and unpleasant about it, he will begin to get used to walking large in a pot on his own without any persuasion.
If psychological constipation was accompanied by physical, then it is necessary to visit a gastroenterologist to find out the causes and ways to eliminate it. He will order an examination and advise you to stick to a therapeutic diet for some time. Moreover, the use of sweets and flour products should be reduced to a minimum.
Predominant foods in the diet:
- all kinds of vegetables,
- compote from dried fruits, especially with prunes,
- plenty of fluid - about 2 liters per day.
- Giving the child a psychological certainty that the emptying procedure is sure to go well.
As a rule, the first time with psychological constipation, the child refuses to go to the pot, whimpers, cries, suffers to the last, until he pokes in the panties. It is very important, despite the fact that he did it where it is not necessary, to praise the child for the fact that he did it at all. The praise of the family heals the injury of the baby and makes him more confident in himself, you need not to skimp on it, and in every way to praise the baby for having lightened his tummy. When after some time it becomes clear that the baby forgets about the fear of emptying, you need to casually offer to do it on the pot, just do not overwork it, so as not to make it worse. If the child still refuses from the pot, do not force him, and wait a little longer. At the first successful attempt, the baby should be lavishly praised and rejoiced with him.
The child is afraid of much to go to the toilet in the garden
It is not a rare problem faced by parents whose children try kindergarten there is a fear there to go to the toilet for a lot. This is especially true of children who have just started going to preschool. A lot of children are afraid of kakat on the toilet or the pot in the garden through an unusual situation for them. If they are used to doing this at home, in their own pot, next to toys and with all their own, then for them it is, above all, a great psychological trauma. Also here shyness before other strangers is shown.
How to help the child to overcome the fear of walking through the kindergarten?
In order for the child to get used to the fact that this is a familiar phenomenon and there is nothing to worry about, that it is possible to crap without problems not only at home, but also in the kindergarten, it is necessary that some time pass. In order for him to experience this great problem as easily as possible, parents are advised:
- Try to teach a child to the time of his desire coincided with the time that he is at home in a calm and dear environment: in the morning before going to kindergarten or in the evening after he comes.
- Try to arrange with the caregivers to bring the pot from the house, while the child gets used to the free emptying. Explain delicately teachers about the existing problem of the child and ask for help together with him to overcome it.
The child is afraid of going to the big toilet in school
Not uncommon is the problem of school-age children unwillingness to go to the big toilet in school, while suffering to the last. The problem is not simple enough, because at this age, it is connected more with the psychological state of the child. This is often caused by the shyness of the child in front of outsiders, since the toilets at school are in most cases common and not rarely even separated by a partition. The fear of poking at school is aggravated by a rather long time spent in it and consequently a long patience, which can lead to chronic constipation.
What to do?
First of all, you need to try so that the child’s body learns to “handle his affairs” at home in the morning before school or in the afternoon when the child comes home.
If this is really a big problem on the part of the child, caused by fear of going to the toilet for strangers, and at school during the break, as a rule, there are always many people, you should try to agree with the teacher, explaining the situation so that he would let the child go to the toilet during the lesson. After all, the lessons are lessons, and the health of the child and his comfortable state are much more expensive.
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The child is afraid of much to go to the toilet: the advice of a psychologist
In most cases, the fear of the child going to the toilet is associated with painful or unpleasant sensations. Another, no less important cause of psychological fear of a child in front of the toilet is insufficient love and attention from adults, which cause him to feel anxiety. Due to inattention and a sense of uselessness, the child, trying to control everything, performs such actions with the emptying process. He is afraid of doing his business on the pot or toilet because of the fear that his parents will scold him and remain unhappy.
In order to solve the problem, psychologists advise to help the child overcome the fear that caused it. To do this, you need to understand the reason for its occurrence. Even in spite of the fact that the child can be emptied into the pants, it is not necessary to dwell on it and scold him, this can only aggravate the situation. The child should always be praised and supported, having reserved patience in advance.
The child is afraid to go to the toilet in large: Reader reviews
Evgenia Proklova, 28 years old (Moscow). When his son was 2.5 years old, he had constipation. He cried, shouted that it hurt, but somehow poked. So lasted several days. Then he had a fear of the pot and generally a fear of crap, which was accompanied by restraining with the clamping of the legs. We defeated this problem, first of all, with patience. We tried to do everything so that the child’s stool returned to normal, as soon as possible with the help of vegetables, juices, compotes. At first, he pooped up in his pants, then gradually forgetting the pain, in my presence with fairy tales, popped on a pot. Now everything has returned to normal - after 1.5 months.
Maria Semenova, 32 years old (Perm). My son had problems with the toilet for the most part at the age of 4.5 years, he had already started walking on the toilet. When I noticed his first excuses about going to the toilet, drew attention to his problem chair. Immediately took action on the food diet - after a week everything returned to normal.
Svetlana Orlova, 34 years old (Moscow). My daughter is 2.4 years old, flatly refuses to go to the toilet for the most part, although for 5 months she went to it without any problems. Already tried everything - and diet, and persuasion, and fairy tales, there is no sense, poops only in his pants.
Natalia Molotov, 30 years old (Kaliningrad). My son is already 13 years old. I don’t remember any problems with going to the toilet. I think that the main thing here is to look at the child in time, to be interested in his life and experiences, then there will be no such problems.
Olga Naumova, 29 years old (Moscow). Psychological fear of a daughter to go to the toilet on a large scale appeared in the school, when we, in connection with moving to another district, transferred her to another school. The problem was purely psychological, struggled for several months. By persuasion, talk, campaigns to the psychologist everything went well.
How to understand that a child is afraid of crap
All children periodically do not go to the toilet for several days. But if the reason is not in the usual constipation, namely, in fear, the following signs will appear:
- crying, irritability, bad mood,
- a negative reaction to any mention of the toilet, be it a pot or a toilet,
- the desire to cak exclusively standing,
- an attempt to close the ass hands at the moment when the "process" has already begun.
The child not only can not go to the toilet: he does not want and is trying in every way to prevent this "action". Pediatricians talk about psychological constipation, which is peculiar to children 2-4 years. This phenomenon is considered relatively normal, as it is observed in many cases.
Why the child is afraid of crap
The child's mind is very malleable and susceptible to any external factors. Due to lack of experience, the child may react incorrectly to a situation that would not have seemed to the adult at all meaningful. And there are several main reasons why there is a fear of going to the toilet:
- The child is afraid of cocoa after constipation. Ordinary constipation sometimes becomes a real psychological trauma for young children. Hardened feces, "leaving" the body, contributes to the emergence of unpleasant physical sensations. Often the child is so painful that this discomfort is delayed in his mind for a long time. And even after the normalization of the chair memories do not disappear. Children continue to be afraid, believing that the next time everything will be so unpleasant. They make every effort to avoid a “dangerous” situation.
- The child is too aggressively trained to the toilet. It often happens that the fear of going wildly occurs in children immediately after they are sent to kindergarten. Nannies are often not too ceremonial, planting a child on the pot forcibly and literally forcing him to poop. For children, this is a serious stress, fraught with the development of psychological constipation. Sometimes parents make mistakes in education. For example, they can scold a kid for crap pants, scaring him with his anger. The child will start thinking that the crap is bad and will try to avoid punishment in the future, refusing to empty the intestines.
- The child has physiological problems. The children's body is faced with all the same ailments as an adult, parents usually just do not think about some diseases at all. Nevertheless, a child may have anal fissures and even hemorrhoids (with congenital vein insufficiency syndrome). In such situations, visiting the toilet really causes discomfort, to which children react accordingly - tears and refusal to crap.
Often, attempts to explain to a child that going to the toilet is normal and “everyone is doing that” fail. Children continue to be afraid, especially if parents treat them with rectal candles.
What to do if the child is afraid of crap
First of all, you need to show the child to the doctor and consult with him. But usually tactics involve the development of two aspects:
- Getting rid of pain. It is necessary to treat the child (including from worms, which provoke discomfort in the stomach and when emptying the intestines). To prevent feces from solidifying, it is necessary to balance the diet by saturating it with vegetables without oil, dried fruits, and plenty of water. It is recommended to exclude from the menu the flour and sweet (or at least actively drink such food). Dairy products should be consumed fresh, because after a few days of storage, they acquire binding properties and can cause constipation. По согласованию с педиатром допустимо давать ребенку легкое слабительное (в частности, принимать такие препараты рекомендует доктор Комаровский).
- Избавление от страха. Проработка психологической боязни гораздо сложнее, чем борьба с болью как таковой. Ведь даже когда физический дискомфорт исчезает, ребенок все равно продолжает испытывать страх – «по привычке». It is important to show that going to the toilet does not involve a negative. And here parents are tricking as they can:
- give the child his favorite and rarely bought delicacy for every successful "attempt"
- play with the child while he is “busy”, read fairy tales, distract with music, roll a number of cars or sit on dolls, etc.,
- they draw a story about going to the toilet with the child, where the main character “does it all”,
- buy a pot with the child, allowing him to make an independent choice,
- praise the child for "success" and tell how good he is.
With psychological constipation, adults are forbidden to show aggression and shout. This makes the child even worse, and the moment of a normal trip to the toilet is delayed indefinitely. It is better to allow the children to spend some time in their shabby clothes than rush to them immediately to change their clothes. The child should feel that nothing of the kind has happened, but walking in soiled pants is very unpleasant.
The less attention parents pay to the toilet problem, the sooner everything will return to normal. All adults are able to go to the toilet, so you can not worry: sooner or later, the child will “reconcile” with the need to visit the restroom in a big way. The main thing - do not miss the moment of problems with the gastrointestinal tract and monitor the absence of normal constipation.
The child is afraid of the pot: the causes and ways to overcome fear
Why does the baby have the fear of the pot? Most often, the parents themselves create this problem with their inappropriate behavior. Pediatric doctors and psychologists believe that it is impossible to focus on the pot and try to force the child to it forcibly. This process should take place in the form of a game. It is very important to praise and encourage the child after each successful bowel movement.
There are several groups of reasons for fear of the pot.
Incorrect potty training methods:
- Very early schooling to him. To control the process of defecation, the child begins only 1.5-2 years. If he is forced to do it earlier, and even more scolded for unsuccessful attempts, the baby will start to be afraid of the pot.
- Some parents aggressively teach the child to the pot. For example, they sharply imprison him, force him to do this with the help of shouts and threats, or hold the baby for a long time, forbidding him to rise until he pokes. Sooner or later, the baby will empty the intestines, but the mental harm will be enormous.
What to do in this situation?
Getting the child to the pot should be relaxed and calm. With games, reading books, podshekami and always in a good mood.
Olga, Vitalik's mom, 3 years old: “Vitalik never said why he doesn’t like the pot, but we had problems in order to poop in it for a very long time. Already a year as he wrote standing in the toilet, while using diapers, I am ashamed to say, only to go big. To overcome my son’s fear, I thought that a mouse would put a gift under his pillow after he poked into the pot. When the story about the mouse got tired, we were helped by a fairy tale about a boy who heard the pot cry from loneliness and felt sorry for him. 3 months of fairy tales, complete abandonment of diapers and we became friends with the pot. ”
Such stories are easy to come up with on your own. The main thing is that the hero in them was of the same age and gender, and had the same problem as the child. Such tales must end with the successful overcoming of fear.
It is better if the pot baby chooses in the store itself. It is also good to plant toys on it with the child. It helps if you lose the problem with the kid in the role-playing game. The toy in it will be afraid to poke, and the child will help her and explain that there is nothing wrong with that.
The second group of causes relates directly to the mental state of the baby:
- The child may be afraid of the process of defecation and the type of what comes out of it. This can be explained by a simple misunderstanding of this natural process.
- Children who are prone to control, obey the rules and love order, have ordered toilet habits (for example, the habit of caking in diapers). They do not like it when something happens in their bodies spontaneously, not according to the usual scenario, and they try to restrain intestinal urges, as adults try to restrain vomiting.
- Sometimes the child is opposed to the will of the parents, defending their independence.
Alison Schaefer explains the situation in this way: “Imagine that your baby is prone to total control. Then your attempts to accustom him to the pot make him feel “operational pressure”. More stress + more desire for control = less chance of relaxing and allowing the nervous system to begin to reduce smooth muscle. If you are persistent, the child turns bowel emptying into a power struggle. ”
What to do in this situation?
Parents must be patient. Do not insist, and even better, if such problems have arisen, for a while do not remember the pot at all. Allow the child to go to the toilet, when and how it is convenient. It is better to empty the intestines at least somehow, for example, in a diaper, than not at all. Over time, the situation will change, you just need to postpone the solution to the problem for a while.
How to overcome fear: the advice of a psychologist
If the fear of a child to poke is not related to medical problems or shyness, then, most likely, the problem is a lack of love and attention from the parents. The child may simply be afraid to upset parents or cause their discontent. Often, in this case, you may need the help of a psychologist who can give such advice:
- It is necessary to provide the child psychological comfort. There should be no screaming and yelling at home. It is advisable to protect the baby from stress and viewing aggressive gear.
- Do not scold the child for the lack of a chair or for soiled pants. You can not intimidate him and threaten him.
- If the child is afraid of the pot itself, you can buy him a new one or buy a beautiful baby seat on the toilet.
- Potty schooling can take place in the form of a game or with a fairy tale. After successful bowel movements, it is worth praising the baby and encouraging it.
- You can not focus on this issue. Better for a while do not remind about the pot.
- Sometimes the baby is afraid of the process itself, not understanding what is happening to it. In this case, it is necessary to tell him about digestion and the need to remove waste in the language accessible to him, in the form of a fairy tale or with the help of a picture book.
In solving this problem, a lot depends on the behavior of adults. Often, it is their fears and impatience that cause the child psychological constipation.
On this occasion, Dr. E.O. Komarovsky says: "We must in every way avoid the process of turning into a tragedy ... and less emotions."
What if the child is afraid to go to the toilet in a big way? This may be due to constipation or psychological problems. To help him, you need to adjust the activity of his intestines and try not to scold him. If the child does not feel pain when pooping, and he will no longer be afraid of parents' discontent, the problem with the toilet will be solved.
How to take lactulose syrup for constipation and for the treatment of psychological constipation in a child
It is necessary to start treatment with lactulose syrup gradually - from two milliliters per day, after which gradually increasing the dosage. Every two days, the dose of lactulose is increased by 1 milliliter. When the dose of syrup reaches 10 milliliters per day, it is worthwhile to stop and take the medicine in such quantities for 1-3 weeks.
It is important to understand that lactulose is not a chemical drug, but a special carbohydrate that does not linger in the body, therefore it doesn’t have any special effects.
In special cases, when the child suffers and is afraid of coughing for 4-6 days, it is necessary to use special laxatives glycerin suppositories that are used rectally. When you notice that the baby is holding back the urge to go to the toilet, under any pretext, insert a quarter of the candle into the anus and hold the ass so that the medicine does not jump out. The effect will not be long in coming, so keep the pot at the ready! Do not forget to praise the baby after he goes to the toilet - you can treat him to candy or give an interesting toy. He must necessarily understand that the crap is not painful and, by no means, not scary.
Important! It is better to use glycerin suppository laxatives after a recommendation with a doctor and do not delay the course of treatment in order to prevent the child’s intestines from getting used to artificial stimulation!
Psychological constipation in a child and the behavior of parents
Pediatric pediatricians and psychologists recommend that parents who are confronted with a similar problem in children less focus on the pot and directly on the process of defecation. It is best to turn the treatment into a fascinating game, to encourage pot raises with abundant praise or candy.
The main thing in fear of crap is to destroy old memories and associations, not to let the child convince himself that it is painful and unpleasant to crap. It is also not necessary during the period of existence of the problem to force the child to sit on the pot forcibly, in any case, do not scold if he pokes in the pants!
Causes of fear
If a child is afraid to go to the toilet more or less after a series of physiological constipations, then it is a question of psychological trauma. In this case, the cause of phobias are:
- Pain with difficulty stool. The kid remembers the discomfort, does not want a repetition of the situation.
- Loose stools. Diarrhea irritates the intestinal wall, the skin in the anus. The pain may occur if the cracks visible to the parents on the intestinal walls and anus remain. In the process of bowel emptying in the normal mode, they still ache, slightly ache.
In the absence of a negative experience of coking, that is, difficulties with defecation due to dry feces, regular physiological constipation, the culprits of fear of the pot are:
- Baby does not want to go to the toilet on the pot. He is still small and prefers to do it in pants. Harmfulness of babies often up to 1.5 years, so you should not accustom babies to the pot to this age.
- Shyness Unsuccessful remarks or jokes about the unpleasant smell of feces, the amount of feces from parents, older children provoke a feeling of discomfort in the baby.
- Forced by adults. Prolonged planting on a plastic toilet, persistent requests to write, crap from adults give the process a negative connotation.
- Stress. Baby excited life changes, children's problems in the garden, school. The central nervous system gives a temporary failure, the child protests.
- Negative memories associated with the pot. The baby fell once from a plastic toilet, hurt himself. Fear entails fear.
- The lack of praise from parents for the ability not to dirty pants. In the period of teaching the kids to the pot, you should regularly celebrate every success, praise and encourage the desire to behave like an adult.
To solve the pot problem, it is important to identify the cause of the fear. On this depends the choice of ways to overcome phobias, tactics of parental behavior.
If the culprit fears is physiological constipation, cure it first. Otherwise, you get a vicious circle. The kid is in pain - afraid to cough, does not allow bowel movements - feces accumulate in the rectum, which is then difficult to empty. Use laxatives, change the diet and menu.
Psychological constipation is treated by other methods and methods, which will be discussed below.
How to deal with the problem
To eliminate the delicate difficulty, parents will have to understand the causes of baby's phobias. A confidential conversation with a child after three years, conversations with a kindergarten teacher, personal observations will help to create a complete picture.
Watch the video in which Dr. Komarovsky gives simple and effective advice on how to deal with this problem:
After analyzing the reasons, use the proven advice of experienced parents, doctors, and psychologists to solve the problem, and they know exactly what to do if the baby is afraid of cock.
- Get rid of physiological constipation. Find the cause of difficulty defecation and eliminate the negative factor in the life of the child.
- If necessary, use laxatives, preferably on a plant-based. This is "Duphalac", "Microlax."
- For prolonged constipation, put a enema with a pear or microclysters from the pharmacy, glycerin candles.
- Eat a balanced diet. Include fiber, dairy products, boiled vegetables and soups in light broth on the menu.
- Exclude from the diet a large amount of carbohydrates. Rolls, crackers, cakes, sweets provoke constipation.
- Control drinking mode. The lack of water leads to hardening of fecal masses, physiological constipation. Let's drink more fluids. Make it a rule to take a glass of water immediately after waking up, 20 minutes before meals.
- Feed the intestines with probiotics and prebiotics. Useful microflora colonizes the intestinal environment, helping the gastrointestinal tract to work regularly, to avoid failures.
- Drink a relaxing cocktail before bedtime. Kefir, ryazhenka instead of a late dinner help the digestive tract. The chair will be soft in the morning and the stool free.
- Do a tummy massage. It is not only useful, but also pleasant. In the process of stroking an emotional contact is established, you can talk to your child about fears and experiences. Reject fear or restrain the urge to use the toilet.
- Treat wounds, cracks in the anus immediately after the appearance of constipation or diarrhea. Lubricate the skin with healing creams, flush the child after each trip to the toilet, so that the priest does not irritate and hurt.
- Dr. Komarovsky recommends that parents not create a tragic atmosphere at home if the child resists smoking. It is necessary to give laxatives, experiment with various medications so that the feces go out and not stagnate in the intestines. Be sure to use lactulose syrup for 1 ml a couple of days. Increase the dose over 2-3 weeks gradually, bringing to 10 ml per day. The kid goes down in large pants or pot required. Scolding for dirty clothes is impossible, if you poke where you need it - praise. Over time, the child will get rid of fear.
- If a fidget is old enough, explain the process and the importance of this procedure. 4–5 year olds already understand a lot. Draw a picture, show books on physiology. Describe in detail why, how and why a person goes to the toilet, what causes the containment of feces, the refusal of regular visits to the toilet.
- Keep an active lifestyle. Running, climbing, ball games in the yard stimulate the bowels.
- Observe the daily regimen. Strict compliance with the time of meals, trips to the toilet will make the procedure of defecation stable.
- Create a comfortable psychological atmosphere at home. It is not only about the toilet. Trustful, quiet relationships between parents and children soothe the psyche, balance the state. The absence of stress has a positive effect on the development of the child, addiction to a new, for example, a pot.
- Do not remind yourself that the baby had constipation, that it hurt. Do not discuss this issue with your child or other adults. This story should be forgotten. Focus on successes, positive moments in family life.
- Turn a toilet trip into a game. If you see that the baby wants to poop, strains, presses the legs, run with him to the pot. On the way, tell an interesting story about the mysterious heroes who want to overtake the child in order to be the first to take the potty. And the winner of the competition receives a prize, candy. If the baby has time first, then he will get a surprise. Do not stop the story until the baby poop. Distract his attention from the process of defecation. Let it happen automatically.
- Come up with a financial incentive. For example, bake a magical cookie or treat a special vitamin for fear. Discuss this with your baby. Explain that after eating a liver, he will become fearless, will no longer be afraid of spiders, snakes, dogs, at the same time mention the pot. Do it unobtrusively.
- After a series of diarrheas, constipation, if there were pain during a bowel movement, you need to explain to the baby that now everything is fine. The ailment is gone. The pain will not return. Try to tune up your baby in a positive way so that he stops suffering and fear.
- Do not be afraid to praise. Miserly “Well done!” With psychological constipation is not enough. Praise unsuccessful gatherings on the pot, an affirmative answer to the request to go to the toilet to poop, even for a rare defecation. Create a ground for future success.
- Adjust the schedule of the house to the time spent at home. This measure will help to cope with shyness, inconvenience of toilet facilities in the school or kindergarten. At home, the child can relax, feel comfortable.
- In critical situations, with tantrums, trying to endure the urge to defecate for a long time go to an appointment with a psychotherapist. The doctor will prescribe a sedative medication, help to understand the causes of fear, fear. Psychotherapy of the child, together with parents, brings positive results in most cases.
- Do not hold back the expression of emotions. Allow the child to cry, scream, express aggression, if there are reasons for this. Сдерживание отрицательных эмоций приводит к запорам.
Important! На устранение психологического запора может понадобиться 2–3 месяца. Не торопитесь получить положительный результат, не подгоняйте ребенка. Наберитесь терпения.
- Если боязнь появилась в период адаптации к детском саду, принесите домашний горшок в группу. Ask caregivers to control the process of defecation, to treat the baby more closely.
- Support the child psychologically. Try to stand in its place.
- Do not focus on the problem. If you ask a child 10 times a day about wanting to poop, he will simply get tired and be irritable, he will understand that your thoughts are only busy with this. The meticulousness of the parents leads to protest from the children.
- Straight talk heart to heart. If the pussy talks, ask the reason for the fears, why it is so categorical. Find a solution together.
- Buy a new pot. Old reminds of pain due to constipation, fall or other unpleasant moments. If the child is a second year, let him choose the toilet in the store himself.
- Move the plastic toilet to another room. Changing the environment will help overcome fear.
- Set aside toilet training for a while. Put a plastic pot among the toys, let it become a familiar piece of furniture.
- Give a book with bright pictures. The child is distracted, pokes unconsciously.
- Show me an example. Take fidget with you to the toilet or let him watch the older sisters, brothers. If the age is right, put them on the pot next to it.
- Play with the pot. Put the dolls, bears on the plastic toilet. Play them yourself, have fun after the fantasy kakan. Praise the doll Masha for the fact that she did not tolerate it, but took off her pants and did all the work.
- Come up with a fairy tale or poem. Hero of fantasy can be a boy, a girl, depending on the gender of your child. Think of it yourself or take it from the web. The instructive story about the son or daughter of the royal family should end positively, to tell how the hero coped with fear, overcame many difficulties and received awards for courage. Refer to the fairy tale, when the baby protests against the toilet, restrains the urge to defecate. For the best effect, you can draw fantasy episodes, make heroes from plasticine, play some scenes with your parents in the evenings.
What not to do
- Forcibly hold on the pot.
- Make sit and crap, bringing the kid to hysterics.
- Keep the baby in the toilet more than 15 minutes.
- Stand over the baby in a frighteningly strict posture, waiting for the result. Leave the child alone.
- Scream, scold, punish.
- Threaten with physical punishment, select toys.
- Discuss a naughty child in the presence of a baby with other adults, girlfriends, relatives. It hurts the child's psyche, sets up a protest.
- Reproach for soiled pants. Let it be better while walking past the pot than provoke regular constipation by holding the stool.
- To teach children to the pot to 1–1.5 years. Wait for the urge to remove the pants, disgust for dirty panties.
Important! Every child is different. Choose methods of eliminating phobias carefully, experiment. If one method does not fit, try another, then you will definitely succeed.
Use the following methods to prevent difficult bowel movement regularly:
- Control baby food. Mode and menu are important. If the kid loves buns, let him drink them with kefir, ryazhenka, eat more fruit. Sweets and soda is better to limit. When refusing vegetables, invent original dishes: casseroles with carrots and marmalades, cabbage bears with sour cream — hide the vegetables under a delicious sauce, mask them with a shape.
- Walk, actively play every day in the air. Without a street to raise a healthy child is impossible. Sittings with cookies near the TV will add to the care of a normal chair.
- Make emotional contact. Communication between relatives is an important aspect of child rearing. Squeezed children with a large number of complexes suffer from phobias, constipation much more often.
- Control fluid intake. You need to drink clean water every day. Especially in the morning.
- Tummy massage. Relieves constipation infants and older children. Stroking, tingling in a game form stimulates the muscles of the intestine, helps to promote feces to the exit.
If a child of any age has never experienced physiological constipation, then psychological, most likely, will not - there is no reason to be afraid of the pot. Prevention of constipation will relieve parents and children of emotional problems and bodily clips.
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Age features of fear
Psychological constipation often affects children under 4 years of age. At this age, it is difficult for a child to explain why it hurts him to go to the toilet and talk a lot about the processes of digestion. Some kids easily forget the temporary difficulty, others for a long period are not able to overcome the fear on their own. In this case, you will need tremendous tact and patience, and possibly the help of relevant specialists.
The problem may appear after 4 years, especially during school attendance. At this age, the psychological trauma associated with shyness is more often formed.
- Your actions should be based on understanding the difficulty of the child, talk and explain to him how to build, without undue anxiety, the process of defecation,
- Most Russian schools have disadvantages in the arrangement of toilet rooms, the best option would be to teach children to cope with the needs of the house,
- And if itch at school, let him ask for leave during the lesson. Still, the health of the child is more and more important than knowledge.
Tips for a psychologist how to handle
The main task of parents is to adjust the baby's digestion. Monitor the use of a sufficient amount of fluid. Depending on age, up to 2 liters per day. Add vegetables and fruits to your child’s daily diet, known for their laxative effects (beets, prunes, carrots, dried apricots, etc.). Do not bring the condition to constipation.
What to do if the child is afraid to crap even after the normalization of nutrition?
- Analyze your actions, perhaps you are too concerned about this problem: you don’t need to constantly check with your child whether he wants to go to the toilet in large - this will only aggravate the situation,
- It is better not to ask at all, because if there is a fear to shit, then even if he has a desire, he will surely say no,
- You probably noticed when the child is going to crap, he behaves accordingly (he quiets down, hides behind a corner, is alarmed). Your task: to carefully catch the moment,
- Try the fairy tale therapy method: frequent playing of the potted theme with your favorite toys will help the child to establish contact with the necessary piece of toilet, make friends with him, stop being afraid,
It is important to know! Practice potty exercise gradually, unobtrusively, in a game form, without sudden movements. In no case do not force the baby to sit on it for a long time - this is very harmful and dangerous for the health of the child.
- If the child, out of habit, went into his pants, do not scold him. Avoid punishment and screaming for dirty laundry. Try to calmly respond to the situation. Just change clothes and that's it.
Otherwise, anxiety to be punished or to upset the parents will be added to the fear of kakat. The baby may even form an opinion that he is not worthy of your love, and this represents a threat to the full mental development.
If a child in 2 years is afraid to crap, try to recognize the cause and take action. For example, various safe laxatives will help to empty the intestines painlessly. Gradually, the pain will be forgotten.
For persistent dislike of the pot, try the following recommendations:
- do not force the child to sit on the pot, if he categorically refuses, let time pass, perhaps fear will be forgotten by yourself,
- choose and buy with the child a new piece of toilet, and suddenly the old one was not to his taste,
- invent fairy tales about the pot and, in a playful way, plant toys like kakat.
When a child in 3 years is afraid of crap, try to gently find out from him what exactly frightens him. At the age of three, most children speak well and are able to control the actions of their bodies. Each baby responds individually to different situations, only you know your child well and carefully watching him and talking, make a complete picture of the acquired fear of crap.
- Depending on the characteristics of the child and the depth of the fear, it is possible to get rid of the problem for 1.5 - 3 months on your own or with the help of specialists,
- With every successful attempt by the child to go to the pot, by all means praise him and rejoice together, emphasize that this is not at all scary, but brings relief to the tummy,
- Over time, positive emotions will prevail, and the child will forget his injury. As a rule, by the age of three, all children begin to use the pot on their own.
It is a common situation when a child is afraid to go to the toilet a lot since he started attending kindergarten. In this case, try to establish the process of defecation early in the morning, before going to the institution or in the evening, with a quiet home environment. You can negotiate with the teacher to bring a pot from the house, after discussing this difficulty with the teachers and jointly overcome the fear of shit in the garden.
Important! It is very dangerous to allow a child to hold back feces for a long time, this can lead to physiological and, as a result, psychological constipation. Take control of the situation.
Remember, any fear can be safely overcome by competent actions on the part of parents. Careful observation of the baby and available conversations will help to find the source of the problem, and systematic patient steps will eradicate the phobia.
Causes of constipation
The main reason for the poor functioning of the intestines and the corresponding consequences is often physiology, but psychological causes are also quite common:
- The child is afraid to crap. Chances are that one day the process of defecation was accompanied by painful sensations and now the child is afraid of experiencing pain again during a bowel movement. Already in one and a half years, the toddler is able to control the body, restraining the urge to go to the toilet - the calories that have not been removed in time harden, and going to the pot becomes even more difficult and painful. Emotional shock also sometimes causes psychological constipation in the crumbs.
- The kid protests against potting, defending his independence.
- The child is afraid of the pot. The strong desire of mothers and loved ones to teach their children to go to the pot as often as possible is often accompanied by their irritation and displeasure due to soiled panties. Subsequently, the child simply begins to be afraid of the pot, because he is associated with shouts and reproaches at his address, that is, causes negative feelings.
Methods of dealing with constipation in babies
Regardless of the physiological or psychological nature of the disease, this condition of the baby requires intervention. To help in a situation where the child is afraid of crap, you can use known methods:
- Enema or laxative suppositories. It is worth putting an enema or applying laxative suppositories if the child is not able to poop for more than two days. In any pharmacy you can now buy disposable enemas Mikrolaks or in the old fashioned way to use a rubber pear. It must be remembered - putting candles or incorrectly setting an enema can cause irritation and the appearance of cracks in the anus, and this can cause painful sensations. For constipation in the house, you should also have sea buckthorn candles on hand - they quickly and effectively help the healing of the anus mucosa.
- Balanced diet. An integral part of the baby's diet should be vegetables and fruits - the main sources of fiber, necessary for his body. Of course, you should not force a child to eat vegetables, especially if he does not like. Just cook familiar dishes with the addition of vegetables - meatballs, casseroles, or porridge. There is no need to exclude sweets, buns, sweets or cakes from the menu, but it is extremely important to try to significantly reduce their consumption. Also start watering your crumbs with carrot, pumpkin juices or decoction of prunes an hour before or after meals.
- Compliance with the drinking regime. One of the reasons causing constipation is lack of water in the body. A baby should get enough liquid throughout the day: compotes, juices or plain water, but not sweet soda, which can also cause constipation.
Supplements for Constipation
- Prebiotics and probiotics. Such funds perfectly stimulate the growth of beneficial microorganisms and colonize the intestinal microflora. Choose a suitable drug for the crumbs should help the doctor.
- Cocktail before bedtime. Another effective remedy for constipation is sour milk, ryazhenka or one-day yogurt. A glass of one of these drinks at night leads to normal child digestion.
- Hot shower. It happens that for some reason, it is more comfortable and easier for some children to go large while under a shower.
How to help your child overcome the fear of the pot
The very first thing to start with, if the child is afraid of the pot, is to create psychologically comfortable conditions around it. The baby needs to grow and develop in a relaxed atmosphere, so there should be no quarrels, shouts, clarifications of relationships with him in the house.
Do not rush your child to go to the pot, and do not scold if he once again soiled clothes or vice versa could not go to the toilet (we recommend reading: what to do if the baby cannot go to the toilet?). Such attacks only exacerbate the situation, heightening his fear and adding new unpleasant associations with the pot.
Ways to overcome the fear of the pot in a child
- Do not forget to praise the kid every time he goes to the pot - you can even resort to the promotion of sweets or toys. Thus, you will set your baby on positive thoughts related to going to the toilet.
- Do not close when you yourself are coping - let the child see how you do it and try with you. So he will understand that this is the most common procedure, in which there is nothing terrible, especially since a personal example is the most effective with children.
- You can always replace the frightening baby pot. Buy a new pot, giving the crumbs a choice to make their own.
- Leave the pot among the toys, not forcing him to walk. Constantly seeing him among familiar and favorite things, the child will gradually get used to it and cease to be treated with fear.
- Turn on the fantasy and make up a story about a magic pot, or tell a fairy tale about a prince / princess who were also afraid of the pot, but won the fear and now go to the toilet in time. You can beat the situation with the help of a doll, a soft toy or any other thing. If you can not think of anything, you can just read your favorite book.
- Sometimes the baby sitting on the pot just need to relax and distract. For this purpose, the ideal clay - let the child knead it in your hands, sculpt and roll, or pick your own distracting means. While playing a crumb, you should not allow your child to sit on the pot for a long time. Prolonged sitting position can cause problems with the rectum.